I always thought the world of you and it kills me to know .
That I miss you so much and I feel so low.
I just wish this was easy I didn't want to cry.
But most of all i wish you never died .
I wish I hated you so I wouldn't feel this way
But this is the opposite all I feel is pain...
I can't remember the last I saw you but I got to today.
I saw you in the casket laying silent as day
I wish I could've told you I love you once more
But the world doesn't work like that I realized that's for sure
It kills me to know ill never tell you I'm gay
Ill never say im happy with someone.
Ill never say in the future I'm getting married.
Ill never look at you and not feel pain .Ill never not miss you.
But pappy.I want you to know it kills me the most that I won't see you again and I won't be happy till its over with.And they think grandma has Alzheimer's and I can't deal with it if she forgets us ill die on the inside I wish you were here to help me process it.I miss you so much and want someone to look at and think of them the way I do you.
But pappy I hope you are happy and not in pain.
But most of all pappy
I want you to know I love you
And I've always thought so
