"Say what?"
"Pregnant."
"I’m what?!"
"Pregnant. P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T," the doctor slowly spelled as though he were speaking with someone in preschool.
"I don't...how is that possible?"
"Well, when a man and a woman really love each other they often express that love in a--"
"You're about as funny as a funeral, Sam," the patient interrupted, wearing the deepest frown.
As he reclined behind the desk, a smile tugged at the doctor’s lips. "The results are accurate. You're with child. Now considering I’m just your primary, we’ll have to set you up with an OB/GYN. There are a few excellent choices at this hospital. Let’s see…" Pulling his cordless keyboard over, Dr. Henderson’s fingers began flying over the keys as he studied the computer screen. Meanwhile, his patient fidgeted in the chair positioned in front of his expansive desk.
"I can’t--this can’t be happening. Are you serious?"
Keen eyes scanned the screen before the primary physician continued typing. "As a heart attack."
"I came here because I’ve been feeling queasy and exhausted lately."
That smile had enough audacity to grow. "And you’re leaving pregnant."
A smirk formed. "Haha."
Dr. Henderson looked up. "I only jest because I know you and your spouse can do this. It’ll be fine."
"Uh huh."
*****
Melody dropped her briefcase next to the table set for two. "You wouldn’t believe the day I’ve had! Babe, I have something I need to discuss with you." Walking up to her husband she stole a carrot from the pile already sliced. Heels already kicked off, she had to stand on her tiptoes to kiss his stubbled cheek.
"What is it?"
Groaning, Melody settled into a chair. She shifted left to right and back again until she heard a tiny cracking sound. "Massage me later? My back has been killing me."
He leisurely set the knife on the chopping board and then turned around until his wife was in his line of sight. Kevin leaned against the counter with bronzed arms folded across his broad chest, an enigmatic smile in place. "Sure. What did you need to talk about?"
She was about to answer but then she observed his expression and body language. "You go first. Like Marvin Gaye might inquire, what’s going on?"
"Ladies first."
"The lady insists that Kevin go first."
"Kevin’s pregnant."
If she hadn’t already eaten the carrot slice she would have choked on it. "Say what?"
"Pregnant. P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T."
Melody drummed her fingernails against the kitchen table while staring toward her husband as though he just admitted that he was an alien from an unknown planet far far away. "You’re what?!"
"You heard me the first time, Mel." Grabbing a casserole dish, he practically threw the carrots inside. He could feel her eyes on him while adding water and a light sprinkling of brown sugar. By the time Kevin had the dish covered with cling wrap and slid it into the microwave she was prepared to speak. Unfortunately, what she said only further irritated him.
"How did this happen?"
Kevin shut the microwave door with more force than was needed. He hurt his own finger when punching a series of buttons. "How?" Bewilderment crossed his face. "You’ve the gall to ask me how?" He pointed an achy finger at her. "You trapped me!"
A pair of sculpted eyebrows raised in response to that accusation. "Trapped you, Kevin? How could I trap you when I’ve had you for the last twelve years? Plus," Melody laughed sans the humor, "how do I know it’s mine? We haven’t been ‘active’ much lately and besides I use protection."
"I’m delighted you brought that up!" He pulled a slim peach colored rectangular container from a rear jeans pocket and pitched it Frisbee style toward the table where it landed with a clank in an empty plate.
Melody stared first at the item and then her husband. "Why do you have my birth control?"
Kevin strutted over and took the seat across from her. "The more important question is why have you been taking it so sporadically? I didn’t return to the restaurant after my appointment. Coming home I checked that out." He offered the plastic container such a disdainful look. "There’s not one Sunday-Saturday row that’s completely vacant and I started thinking about it. I recall seeing you take those little pills at different times of the day. I asked myself, I said Kevin isn’t she supposed to take those at the same time everyday? So Kevin looked it up on the Internet and lo and behold you are! Did you honestly believe the way you’ve been taking them is effective?"
"Kevin--"
"Remember you told me years ago when I was pondering a vasectomy, I got this Kev! No snipping necessary because my girlfriend Julie informed me about this primo oral contraception. I trusted you, Mel. Now look." Lifting his shirt, he pointed toward still rippled abs. "Yeah, you got it all right. You got me pregnant!"
"Kev--"
"What?"
"I’m sorry." When her husband noticed the regretful tears pooling in her eyes his anger instantly started to crumble. "So sorry. It’s my fault. Things have been so hectic at the firm and I’ve been irresponsible in taking my medication." Raggedly exhaling, Melody sifted her fingers through deep red locks. "How far along?"
"I have an appointment with an OB/GYN on Thursday so I’ll find out then." Kevin excused himself to check on dinner. Pulling a nicely roasted chicken from the stove, he inserted a meat thermometer, nodding when the needle reached 180 degrees. "You mind pouring us some tea? Dinner’s almost ready."
*****
Swallowing another forkful of creamy garlic mashed potatoes, Melody complimented Kevin on the meal. Quietly thanking her, he continued eating.
"Kev?"
"Yeah?"
On the verge of crying again she whispered, "I do love you."
Pushing his chair back, Kevin crooked a finger at her. Bottom swiftly deposited in his lap, they embraced. His lips grazed her forehead, her eyes, her nose and finally her mouth. "I love you back, Mel."
"I’m scared," Melody softly admitted.
"Me too."
"But we can do this." She said it with such conviction that Kevin found himself believing her. They shared their first smile of the day.
"I’m gonna get fat," he suddenly whined.
"Babe, I’ll cherish each additional pound." He smirked. Melody chuckled. "Truly!" Kissing him again, she returned to her seat. "Let’s finish eating and then I’ll run you a bubble bath. While you soak I’ll clean the kitchen and afterward I’ll massage your back."
"Wow. You should’ve been negligent with the Pill years ago." Kevin laughed when a buttery carrot connected with his forehead.
