Dear Si,
I have lost control of myself again. I felt myself just fall into despair and I couldn't get out. Well, I did know how to get out but I knew it had to be me talking about it.
I lashed out on you again. I didn't mean to. I was just in pain that even small things like that make me blow it out of proportion.
You told me that you were scared. Scared that you couldn't stand by me any longer. I understand, I really do. I'm sorry that I'm causing you so much trouble. I really am doing my best to be better, I'm still struggling though.
You told me that I needed some time for myself, to help myself and for once not to worry about you. I couldn't agree more. We both need some time apart. To get better and be better.
Two months. We won't see eachother in two months, not even talk to eachother unless it is really important. It breaks my heart and I know it breaks yours as well but this is for the best.
At times, I think to myself "I shouldn't have done that. I could be talking to him tomorrow but now I have to wait two months." But I know that this is needed. You don't become better without pain afterall...
I'll be missing you. I know I will. So I'll be writing here for the time being. So that I can record my progress and remember you. Talk about my feelings here as if we were chatting eachother about our day.
I miss you already, love. But I'll be patient. I'll be waiting. And I'll always be home.
