Jamais Vu

A/n: I wrote this in little time, the inspiration came from the song on the album. I tried getting a grasp of the concept 'jamais vu' and put this into words, hoping that you would enjoy it.

'Jamais Vu - refers to the phenomenon of experiencing a situation that one recognizes in some fashion, but nonetheless seems very unfamiliar.'

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Dear You,

That day I saw you standing in front of me again. You looked hurt, or at least I think you were. My psychiatrist told me to write about it, the things I was feeling, the thoughts that were running through my head. So now I'm sitting down for this task but it's hard to find the core of our problems because I don't understand.

You know, we've been through the patterns so many times. I've pulled you in, loved you like you were mine, but I've also pushed you out with force. It wasn't my intention to hurt you when we broke up for the first time. I just wanted to protect my foolish heart and broken mind from falling in love, from crashing too hard.

The 2nd time you turned the tables on me, after many fights I was the one to be pushed out. Maybe you even pushed with more force than I did. We weren't good for each other, we knew. Still I was as eager as always to return to your arms, you took a hold of me and never let go because of your selfish reasoning. Our way of loving hurt my dear, but I was used to that.

Today I went to your grave for the first time, our patterns are broken my love. I understand that you wanted to go, we've been over it so many times. But what is this foreign feeling that still lingers within me, why doest it feel like this is the first time?

Yours sincerely,

even when death has parted our ways.

Kim Seokjin