I'll jump for you

The last breath, the last heart beat, the last kiss, and suddenly everything is gone.

The last thing I remember was her tears falling as we were torn away from each other, I saw her beautiful face falling further and further away from me.

The air that night was cold, it was numbingly cold yet uncharacteristically calm. I found my way to the roof where she stood so still and so close to the edge. I wanted to scream her name, but resorted to silence. I knew she couldn't bear to hear it right now.

I slowly moved closer to her, my heart crying out for her to step back, but it was a losing battle as the city beckoned her to hell. I had no control, I could not do anything. It's deceiving lights shining false hope into her mind, then watching as she cried, counting her tears as they fell. It made me hate. Hate the city, hate the lights, hate the world and everyone in it. Every tear that fell from her delicate mahogany eyes was a promise of everything she had never found. Peace, Family, a Home. She was letting go of all her pain with every tear that fell. I couldn't bear another second. I wanted to scream into the night, just make her see how much the world needed her.

I gradually made my way closer to her side, I could see her lips, so frail and cold, preparing for the existence of only her soul. I couldn't let her go.

"Remember us, remember everything you are letting go of, remember me" I whispered, as not to frighten her. My hand touched hers gently. I felt nothing, she was already gone. She wasn't dead but she was lost in her pain, so deep. I couldn't feel her natural warmth and love, her aura had deteriorated into this sad mass of dead energy around her. I yearned for her to return to me. She pulled away fearful of missing her chance. I tried to hold her but she pushed me away from her so hard I fell to the ground. I was stunned, and my heart ached.

I pulled together the courage to peer over the edge, seeing the world so far below, almost out of view. I let a tear slip from my eyes and watched it fall through the sky, it fell so gracefully, but I knew she wouldn't fall so slowly and gracefully. It hurt me to imagine her death, so painful.

"Please don't jump" I cried with a soft, broken voice. She opened her eyes and stared into the cold night sky. The frozen pure white snow fell so quietly, but she was too numb to notice it freezing her skin. In that moment my heart died a thousand times. "I dream of the end" she whispered peering into the black abyss of the night. "I want to start, all over again" she barely got the words out, but the tears spoke to me in every way she couldn't. I knew she was ready to go. In her mind she was already gone. I was holding her back, but for how long? She wouldn't let me touch her, I was distant and afraid, of losing her. I didn't know how long I could hold onto her so strong. I was losing everything. If she ended her life, she was ending us. She was taking me with her unintentionally. Her pain, became my pain. It was our pain.

I froze as I saw her shift closer to the edge and lift each leg, shaking them one at a time, my eyes grew wider and my heart began to race. Was this it, was it over?... Now her shoes were laying on the ground, on the street below awaiting her arrival beside them. The image haunted me and was enough to break my heart there and then. I couldn't lose her, not now, not like this. After everything we had been through. I picked myself up, and took a breath, wishing the night away. I walked a little closer to her in hope she would be distracted by my presence moving closer.

"Take my hand" I said calmly, but my mind was screaming a thousand words. Her mind seemed to stop for a moment, I felt it stop. She turned her body around to face me. "Please" I begged "Give it a chance"

"I can't" her eyes met mine "It's too late" she replied. Her eyes were stained with tears of sorrow, swollen and losing that speckled redish-brown colour they once so proudly owned.

"It isn't too late" I assured her. She stepped away from the edge and walked towards me. Suddenly her lips where on mine and her hand pressed lightly against my face. Her cold skin didn't bother me because her perfect love filled me with instant peace. In those few seconds I felt nothing but her love. She was still there. She wasn't completely gone yet. I knew I couldn't let go of what we had. "I'm sorry. I love you" she whispered into my ear. Our lips touched one last time, then she turned around and headed towards the edge of the building again. I had seconds to stop her, to save her life. Suddenly I remembered her favourite song, the song starting playing in my mind. I tried to ignore it, trying to think of a solution to my current crisis, that was until I remembered the last line of the song "and if all that can't hold you back, then i'll jump for you" My heart stopped as the words froze in my head. I now knew.

I saw her move forward ready to start the fall and I knew for a certainty that I couldn't change her mind, so I ran. I ran towards her and didn't stop.

"I'm sorry" I shouted through my tears.

Fear left my body and peace overcame me as I fell, it felt like I was falling forever.

Then...

I, was on the ground...

Lifeless.