Finding Solace

VIII

This home was quite lovely, I had to admit. Various family photos lined the walls that captured the most perfect moments, displaying different moments of their lives. Although the how was large, it didn't feel empty. Somehow, no matter where I went in this house, it always smelled of some kind of baked good. This house make me feel warm, light even.

Through, I will always feel heavy, no matter how much medication I dry swallow. I hated the way the floor boards seemed to creak and groan as loud as possible, no matter how much pressure or lack there of, I put on them. It allowed everyone and anyone residing in the household to be aware of anyone's whereabouts and movements. I was used to being alone, going about with my life without having anyone.

I turned away from the photos lining the wall of the stair well and continued my descent. When I about reached the end of the stairs, a man turned the corner. I gasped at his familiar tall, built frame and dark hair. I jumped back and my gasp became a yelp as I fell backwards, the fuzzy socks that I had found slid on the wooden stairs.

"Whoa there."  He said in surprise, reaching out to help me back up. "I didn't mean to startle you."

I glanced up at him. Sure, he had dark hair, but it was a few shades darker than his. His skin was more tanned and he was much bulkier. As I focused in more, I noticed his blue eyes, very much unlike his brown eyes. I could also be assured that he would be caught trying to impersonate a southern accent, let alone be caught anywhere near farmland.

"Are you alright?" He asked again, his hand still outstretched. I shakily placed my hand in his and he slowly, yet easily, pulled me back upon my feet. As soon as I was steady, I yanked my hand away from his and pressed it against my racing heart.

"I'm fine." I whispered.

"Are you sure? I'm so very sorry. I didn't mean to give ya a spook."

"I'm fine." I whispered again just as Mrs. Somers rounded the corner.

"Jasper." She scolded, swatting him with a small towel as he covered his face with his hands. "Not only do you scare our guest but your also wearing your dirty boots in my house!" She scolded, swatting him again.

"I'm sorry, Ma. I forgot my hat in my room."

"Just go grab it." She had as she shoved him up the stairs. "And you better clean up this mess." She called after him.

"Yeah yeah." He waved his hand over his shoulder. "I will."

"I'm sorry about him. He's one of my older children and my most mischievous. He always seems to get things before his brothers." She shook her head knowingly with a smile. "I guess he wanted to see you. Rub it in his brothers faces." She called up the stairs and I heard a laugh back, my face blooming red.

"Would you like some breakfast?"

"Um no thank you. I don't have much of an appetite." I admitted as she led me to sit down on one of the stools.

"I figured as such." She mused to herself and pulled out a box of medication from a cabinet. Moving along to the fridge, she reached inside and pulled out a tall glass of orange juice and place both items in front of me.

"Oh Mrs. Somers! You did have to do that! I'm fine." I stared the the box of cold medicine in front of me. This farm must have been miles from the nearest store, let along a pharmacy. A hassle is much have been just for me; a guest.

"Nonsense! I can hear how stuffed up you are and don't think I haven't heard you coughing. You need it." She said as she put pots and pans back in their respective places. "Besides, I bought that a little awhile ago for my youngest and he didn't use all of it."

I wasn't sure if I liked the idea of this, letting another person indirectly care for me. I had been an independent for years now. Anything that I needed or wanted, I had to buy. Depending on someone meant caring, sharing personal experiences and memories in order to form a bond. I had never created that sort of connection with someone before and I'm not very willing to begin that now, no matter how nice seemed. Facades are easily to build but hard to detect until it is too late.

"I can pay you back, though." I said, noticing how the box was yet to be opened, the tape seal was still in tact. "My purse is just in my car..." I trailed off as she shook her head.

"I don't need nor do I want your money for a box of medicine that was just going to sit in a cabinet collecting dust until it expired." I took note of how quiet Jasper was as he cleaned the room, I hadn't even seen him enter the room, let alone hear him sweep up all the dirt.

I didn't voice my response, just watched as he dumped the dirt into the trash before deserting the room. I couldn't help but be wary of him, he remind me too much of someone from my past, someone that I had planned to never encounter again. I didn't like this mind game, the trick of the eyes. My mind knew that he wasn't who I was running away from yet he looked to similar and I didn't like it one bit.

"Oh! And you just reminded me." Her sudden voice and movement startle me and I jumped, just about falling off the stool. Thankfully, her back was away from me so she didn't notice my panic. She dug through a draw and pulled a pair of keys, mine to be exact. "These are yours, your car is just around the corner in the driveway. " She said as she placed them on the counter in front of me.

"Thank you." I wheezed and quickly snatched them, briskly walking towards the door. My hand shook violently, the keys jangling annoyingly from my uncontrollable movements. My knees threatened to kick but I forced them forward, even with the black dots that were dancing in my eyes.

I shoved the key into the lock after a few missed tried and turned it, forcing the lock to turn. After ripping the door open, I threw myself in the car and violently dug through the center console. I sighed in relief as I can across the orange prescription bottles. With a miracle, I opened the bottle and threw back a pill and dry swallowed, ignoring the off feeling and hot water bottle that was still half full. Trying to control my breaths, I leaned against the steering wheel, counting the seconds as they went by.