Another Long Night

Inori's dead. Dead, taped to the floor, eyes bulging from her head, fried flesh. There's an electric gun on the floor, water gushing everywhere. Kakeru's dead. Blood everywhere, a gaping flesh wound on the back of his neck. The children are dead. Their emaciated bodies lie on the floor, limp and still like rag dolls. 

They're all dead. Who killed them? That's a stupid question. He did. He's a murderer, he's scum, he's destined for Hell. How ironic is that? He's a priest, a man of God, and yet his final resting place won't be with Him. He's certain of that. Murderer. Scum. Traitor to his own faith. That's what he is. 

"Kinji..."

He's scum, he deserves it, he knows, but still, he's terrified when his execution begins. When he's forced to carry a giant cross, he knows exactly what's going to happen. Crucifixion is terrible, painful, the worst way to die. It would be perfect for him, if it wasn't the very way his Lord and saviour died. He's not like Jesus. He's not a saviour. He's just another worthless, murderous piece of trash. 

"Kinji? My love, it's alright. I'm here." 

Nails through his hands. A crown of thorns, and then blood, dripping down his forehead, like a crimson drizzle, as it passes his field of vision. Monokumas, tons of them. He goes flying, surging at frightening speed, and then he comes crashing down, and he wants to scream for something, anything, before he hits the ground, but doing so is pointless. He can't be saved now.

"Kinji!" 

And he screams, eyes squeezed shut. It's a long, guttural scream, one that would probably wake the neighbours, if they had any. But then his eyes flutter open, and he wakes in a warm bed, wrapped in his husband's embrace. 

Tsurugi sits them both up, cradling him in his arms as he softly whispers, "Nightmare?" 

Kinji is silent, for a moment. He's feeling guilty again, like he always does, when he wakes Tsurugi in the night with his screaming. Tsurugi shouldn't have to wake up and care for him whenever he has nightmares, but he always does so anyway. Tsurugi's too kind. Too loving, for someone like him, that's what the thoughts always tell him, but he's trying to learn to drown them out. Tsurugi loves him. Tsurugi's always there for him. He deserves Tsurugi. That's what Dr Mitsume says. That's the mantra she made up for him. 

Eventually, he nods, and gives him an answer. "Same one I always have." 

Tsurugi just holds him tighter, planting a kiss on his forehead. "My poor sweetheart," he says quietly, "It's ok. You're ok now, I've got you." 

He lets himself melt into the embrace, concentrating on the warmth of Tsurugi's arms. He repeats Dr Mitsume's mantra to himself, to assuage the guilt. But still, he feels guilty, still, he feels like he doesn't deserve his loving husband. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what, Kin?" he asks. 

"For waking you up again," he responds, "I know, it's not something I can control, but still, I..." 

Tsurugi breaks away, as the priest starts to cry, quiet little sobs streaming down his face. He holds him by the shoulders, softly ordering, "Kinji, sweetheart, look at me." 

He obeys. 

"I know you feel guilty, about this, and...The simulation," he sighs, "But it's alright. You're gonna get through this."

Kinji wipes his eyes, sniffling, like a child. "I want to, Tsurugi," he responds, "I have to get better, for you, and the children, and..." 

"I know," Tsurugi says gently, "I know you're doing your best. You're doing so well with your therapy, and you've come so far. You're not all the way there yet, but that's ok." 

Kinji takes a shuddering breath. "It is?"

"Of course," the policeman answers, "As long as you keep going, as long as you keep trying to get better, that's all that matters. And I'll be there to support you, every step of the way, understand?" 

He nods. 

Tsurugi holds Kinji close again, settling them under the covers. "I love you, Kinji, you know that," he whispers, stroking his husband's shimmer white hair, "I know, you're really struggling right now, but it'll be ok. You'll get through it, I promise." 

Kinji snuggles up tightly to him, burying his face in his chest. "Ok." 

Tsurugi plants a last kiss on his forehead. "Now, let's try and go back to sleep, alright, love? You've got a wedding to perform tomorrow, and you need to look your freshest, don't you?" 

He nods again. "I suppose I do, don't I?"

Tsurugi knots his fingers with Kinji's. "Alright. Goodnight then, sweetheart." 

Slowly, Kinji falls asleep in his arms. It takes a while, but soon, he's completely settled, breathing with a soft, slow rhythm. Tsurugi looks at him with vigilant eyes, ready to comfort him again if he has more nightmares. But he doesn't, thankfully, and stays asleep. It's another one of many nights he's spent awake with Kinji, soothing away his nightmares, and telling he can get through this. It's exhausting, to say the least. But for Kinji, yes, for his dear husband, it's ok. For Kinji's sake, he'd move Heaven and Earth, if it got him better. But he can't do that, so for now, he's happy to keep going like this. Happy to keep going, keep making Kinji feel safe again, until he gets better. 

Because God knows he deserves to feel better.