Dear Maggie,
You always told me to come to you if I needed help. But you left. So I’m gonna write instead. You won’t ever get this, probably, but I’m gonna anyway.
It’s been 16 hours and 40 minutes since Tony came into my bedroom. I know cause I remember looking at the clock and thinking how late it was. I dunno why I was still up then. Everything is kinda hazy.
Tony Griffith. Remember him? He used to throw sand at everyone down at the playground when we were kids?
Well two years ago Mama married his Papa. We moved in with his family. I’ma Griffith now. Tony got two sisters now. Me and Susanna. Suzy is in college tho. She goes to college in Caleefornyuh.
Suzy ain’t like Tony. Suzy’s nice. Suzy likes me. She likes to braid my hair a lot. My hair’s always so pretty when she’s home. Never this pretty when she ain’t.
Anyway Tony and I don’t like each other. Tony still throw things at me, but now it’s rocks and books. He threw a plate at my head too. It didn’t hit me. Praise God.
Tony been a jerk to me ever since I learned he had a crush on Helen Miller. I didn’t tell her I promise, but he hated me for knowing. Tony’s mean. He’s angry a lot. Mama said he got anger problems, but his Papa won’t pay for no doctor to help him. Mama thinks the doctor would help a lot, but his Papa don’t want to waste money. He thinks Tony’s fine.
Tony don’t wanna go either.
Tony was angry yesterday. Tony was screaming and yelling and throwing everything. I was scared. He was saying all kinds of words that I ain’t never heard before. Mama always told me never to repeat what Tony said.
So I don’t.
But he was sure cussing everything out.
Mama and Papa were out on a date. It was just me and Tony at home. I hid in my room while he yelled. Tony scares me when he’s angry.
Tony real mad. He pound on my door and tell me to open up. Say he gonna stab me if I don’t. So I do. I open the door a little and look through the crack.
Tony say that not enough. He tell me to open it up all the way.
I ask why.
He say do it.
So I don’t. Tony real mad. His face red. I try to shut the door, but he push against it and throw it open. It slammed into the wall. There’s a hole from where the door knob bashed in. Mama gonna be pissed when she see that.
Tony push me down on the ground. He kick the door shut again and lock it this time. I’m scared. I don’t get up from the ground. Tony look real scary standing over me like he is. His hands balled in fists and he breathing in short and shallow.
His eyes beady and looking right at me. I get goose bumps all over. Tony climbs on top of me and pins me to the floor. I can’t move. He’s too big.
Tony tell me not to scream.
I ask what he gonna do.
He don’t answer. He grabs my skirt and pulls it down. I try to pull it back, but Tony slaps me. He tell me to shut up. Tony pull my panties down too. It’s too cold now. I squirm under him, but he only threatens to hit me again.
That stopped me.
My cheek still stung from the first time.
Tony pull down his pants.
I close my eyes. I ain’t never seen a boy’s special place, and I don’t wanna. Mama said it’s not good to. Mama said stay away. Tony don’t listen to Mama.
Tony push his thing in me. It hurt. It hurt so much. I cried. I ain’t gonna lie. I cried like a baby. Tony just pushing in and out, grunting on top of me. I don’t know what to do. He holds my hands down so I can’t fight him. I just lay there and cry.
Tony squirts something in me and then he pulls out. My special place hurts so much. I can’t see cause my eyes are watering, but I hear Tony pull his pants back on. He lean down close to my ear.
“Don’t you ever tell anyone. You tell anyone and I’m gonna do it again, but this time to your ass.”
I don’t say nothing. Tony leave the room, closing the door behind him. I sit there and cry for a while. I can feel whatever he put in me spilling out. I feel dirty. I feel disgusting. I feel sick to my stomach.
I pull my skirt back on and climb into bed. I don’t change out of my clothes. The room is dark, but I can still see where I was laying. There’s a stain on the floor.
I had nightmares last night. But they ain’t worse than what really happened. But I can’t hold it in.
Tony gonna do that to my butt if I tell anyone, but you ain’t never gonna know. Tony can’t do that if you don’t know.
Maggie, I’m so scared. I don’t want him to do that again. I wish you were here. I wish you’d come back. But I know you watching over me. You up there crying for me. I hope you my guardian angel. I could really use one right now.
******
Disclaimer: This story is going to be very similiar to the Color Purple by Alice Walker. In no way shape or form do I intend to copy or plagarise any of her work. This story will follow a similiar plot line, but be very different.
