Repeated sleeps

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Thursday, 18 September 2014

4:20 PM

CHAPTER 1

One day, one moment, can change it all. Locked away from a town unknown I sit on the cold wet floor waiting for a sing of life, I really couldn't care less of what life it is but sitting here all alone is like a prison sell with a life sentence. The only thought, the only option is my death... it's the only thing that my mind can come to, more or less the question is will I ever get my life back? will I ever be the same? who knows... who cares.

An average day like any other, that’s how the day started but as it went on things felt different… a normal walk from one room to another felt like a gift no longer a pain nor a task, it felt like something I hadn't done in years but in reality it was yesterday that I was walking the same room, the same path and as always, in the same mood… death. Something is off, not right, it doesn’t feel like im alone, it feels like there is someone with me, someone following, someone watching; whatever or whoever it was I didn’t like it, getting up off the cold floor I run from room to room looking to see if someone else was here… but like always it's my stuffed up mind thinking that my so called lover was actually coming. I guess it's my stupidity, thinking someone really cared about me, I always thought no one cared and I finally get the prove of that, he isn't coming for me no one is.

*BANG!!!* The sound I awoke to, jumping up out of bed, sweet running from my forehead, the same recurring dream for the last two months its sending me insane, I think it’s a sign but my consular just thinks im crazy… everyone does, no one believes me but I know im right, I know what I see and feel is real it's all real but how am I meant to tell someone without them jumping to the same conclusion…crazy; peeling my lumbering body out of the sweet soaked sheets I walk to my dresser looking for my favourite black wolf shirt and black washed jeans, ever since ninth grade the only colour I will wear is black, mother thinks im emo but I don’t think she understands the meaning but… I mean she is a little on the stupid side, walking down the narrow stairs to the bottom I see my oh so dear mother smoking in her normal spot looking up at the roof like some kind of tripping out cat, walking past her into the kitchen I grab my normal up&go and sit next to my mother as quickly as possible drinking the up&go so I can leave the house without a boom bard of questions, I run to the bin and throw the  empty box away, grabbing my bag and running out the door with my mother behind me yelling at me to come back but like every day I JUST KEEP RUNNING.

 Walking through the school gates, something doesn’t feel right, it's like a cold feeling, like in movies where a ghost is around and people feel cold, that’s what this feels like, but like always I let a tear just roll down my check at the thought that something could be different, something could change.. But it doesn’t change everyone claims im an outcast but when you go though as much as I have weird doesn’t begin to cover it. My name is Array and I have a troubled past that always seems to haunt me, there is no running, no hiding its fight or die… and lately ive gotten sick of fighting….

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