Joanne through the years.

Apologise

Dianne

Joe Sugg was here! He couldn't be. This was a disaster. I had just stopped talking to him and now he was here and I would have to talk to him. Well...not necessarily. But Joe was quite short and so was I, so we were likely to be paired together. I was crying into Otis shoulder. Stacey had taken Amy away. Thankfully Oti and I were good friends as we used to live together. I lived with Amy right now but she was getting married next year so that was all about to change. I would be alone again I hated being alone. I had always hoped that my boyfriend Anthony would ask me to move in with him but he never had. He was amazing and kind hearted but we just didn't see each other often enough. Long distance was slowly killing us. I was clinging onto what was left of our relationship and so was he.

"Di. We need to talk" Amy said as she came back into the room. I looked up at her. I realised that I had full on shouted Joe's secrets and said horrible things about him then started crying in front of the whole strictly 2018 line up. Amy took one hand and Oti took my other and they led me out of the room and down the corridor until we got to the pro girls lounge. They pulled me inside. It was mercifully empty as most of the pro girls were down in wardrobe.
"Dianne. What were you thinking?" Amy turned to face me.
"I don't know" I balled. "I panicked and I wanted him to shout at me for leaving him just like that but whenever he didn't I tried to make him angry but it got out of hand and then he just said nothing and ran off and he probably feels terrible and it's all my fault" I hugged her. Just then another pro, Katya, walked in. She took on look at me crying and ran over to me. She was another one of my best friends.
"Dianne? What's happening here?" She grabbed both my hands and hugged me.
"She just found out that her ex boyfriend is one of the celebs on the show this year" Oti said.
"What?!?" Katya asked.
"He's my ex best friend" I corrected.
"But you did kiss him" Oti argued.
"Yeah. Then I never talked to him again so we didn't date or anything like that" I frowned.
"So what went down?" Katya placed her hand on my shoulder.
"Basically I told his whole life story to the whole of hair and makeup and then started shouting at him" I cried.
"What did he do?" Katya whispered.
"He said that what I had said was private. Then I kept shouting and then he went a bit weird and Amy asked if he was alright and he ran out" I replied.
"Was he alright?" Katya asked Amy.
"That's for Joe to tell people if he wants to. I'm not gonna tell his secrets to anyone" Amy said sharply.
"Stop Amy! You're making me feel so bad" I sobbed.
"Sorry Di" Amy pulled me in for another hug.
"You should go apologise to Joe" Oti whispered to me.
"He wont want to speak to me" I cried.
"Dianne. Because of your heights, you and Joe have a high chance of getting put together. If you are his partner then you will have to apologise to him. But then he may feel like you're only saying sorry because you are partners rather than you actually meaning it. So you should go say sorry now" Oti finished. She always knew what to say. We had been best friends in Australia once. Then I moved to the UK and she moved to south Africa and we lost touch. We had met on strictly last year and had been best friends ever since.
"Where is he?" I looked at Amy.
"Last time I checked, he and Stacey were in the disabled toilet." she said.
"The toilet?"
"He was quite upset. Now go snog the face off him" Amy grinned.
"I am not going to do that" I smiled slightly and sped out of the room. I wondered what would happen if I did. I walked calmly to the disabled toilet. Inside I could hear chatter. I peered round the door frame. Stacey and Joe were sitting close together on the floor. They were just chatting and laughing. I didn't really want to ruin this moment. I made to go but stopped myself. I had to do this. Oti was right. I had to do this now. I moved myself so I was in clear view of them. I stood framed in the doorway but neither of them noticed me as they were too wrapped up in their own little conversation and giggling at everything.  Just then, Stacey caught my eye and her laughing ceased immediately. This caused Joe to look up and our eyes met. His eyes were so blue.
"I'll be in wardrobe if you need me Joe" Stacey stood up and left.
"I still dunno where that is" Joe called after her and she giggled but continued walking away. This left Joe and me in a stony silence.
"Hey" I said after I couldn't take the silence any longer. I went and sat in front of him. "Ten years huh?" I chuckled nervously. Joe looked at the floor and fiddled with his shoe lace.
"If you didn't want to be my friend then you could have told me" Joe said quietly. "You didn't have to leave me in the dark for 10 years."
Guilt crashed over me like a tsunami. "I had to Joe"
"Why?" Joe looked up at me. "You didn't have to. You had my number. Your family were fine with you being in contact with me. I thought you had died at first. I didn't know if you'd arrived safely or not."
"I did have a reason" I mumbled.
"What was the reason?"
"When I went home to Australia I wanted to text you but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I missed you so much so I told myself that I would do it later. Then I kept putting it off until it was too late. I realised that it hurt too much. I couldn't see you face to face and that's all I wanted to do so the best thing I could do was distance myself from you and pretend that you didn't exist. Obviously I could never forget you. I thought about you everyday" I told him. Joe stared at me. "I was so sad and down. I even quit dancing for a bit and trained to be a hairdresser instead. But after a while I got back into dancing and moved to London. Last year I joined Strictly. And I always kinda hoped that I would meet you in London but I never did. And now I have, I've completely blown any chance of us being friends again. I told everyone your secrets and I'm so sorry" I burst into tears. "I'm so sorry for what I did to you. I was the worst friend ever" I sobbed. Just then Joe pulled me into a tight hug. I buried my head into his chest and sobbed into his shirt. "I know you don't forgive me but I don't want things to be awkward between us" I cried. Joe looked down at me.
"Dianne of course I forgive you. I forgave you the minute you stepped into this bathroom to apologise because you're my best friend and you've done so much for me in the past. You're also annoyingly impossible to stay angry at" Joe laughed slightly and I burst into a fit of giggles.
"Gosh, I've missed you".
"I've missed you too Reddo and don't you ever think of leaving me again."
"I'm not going anywhere" I told him firmly.
"Good. So friends?" He held out his hand to shake and I took it.
"Friends".
"Now. Can you take me to wardrobe. Which I'm pretty sure you were supposed to do an hour ago?"
"Come on then" I giggled and we walked off to wardrobe together.