13 Reasons Why [L.S.]

Tape Two

"Welcome back to the miserable life of Louis Tomlinson."

I can't help but cringe at the uncomfortable feeling of imagining Louis going through this and then afterwards having to explain it to the people who did it to him.

"Some of you may already feel bad for me or even feel guilty, but you shouldn't. Not yet at least. It gets much worse, just you wait."

Well, that didn't exactly help the bizarre feeling in my stomach grow smaller.

"So, as I said, I went to school the next day, apparently not very welcome there. In every class, eyes from everbody in the room were glaring and throwing daggers at me. All day I was hiding in the back of every room I went into. People would start gagging when I walked by them, push me to the ground in one way or another or punch books out of my hands. Of course every time it would be a group approaching me to do something hurtful, never a person alone. Because people don't have the damn guts to do anything without making sure people were with them and saw it. High School is just one big popularity contest, and bullying the newly gay kid definitely scored you some points."

As I think it over, he's actually so right. Everything he just said makes perfect sense. I can hear the frustration and anger growing in his voice.

"I thought I would get away with a couple of scratches on both my skin and my self-confidence that day, but then lunch came around. And, like every other school, mine had cliques. I actually used to be in one. A popular one at that. I was a part of the soccer team back then...well until some things happened...but we'll get back to that."

Oh no. Louis loved soccer with his whole heart. I know he spent so much time and effort on that sport, and those bastards on his team probably somehow ruined it for him.

"The soccer team was quite popular, especially with the girls - not that I was interested in that - so of course Taylor and her girl-group had told the whole story of the night before. Well, with her own twist. From what I heard, she told everyone that I had forced myself on her, then told her I liked it in the butt because I was gay and forced her to act like a man. The thought of actually doing that to someone repulsed me, but people didn't know that. Of course they just trusted Taylor, why shouldn't they. She was the princess of the school.

Moving on; since the soccer team knew, I was banned from their lunch table, the table I had eaten at every day for my whole school life. So, like in every cliché movie, I ended up eating in the bathroom."

I shift uncomfortable on my bed. I really don't like hearing this, but I have to get through it so I can get to my own part. I have to know what I did to him to make this terrible thing happen.

"I didn't get to sit there for long though. Within a couple of minutes three guys walked into the bathroom, not knowing I was sitting in one of the stalls. Before this I thought only girls gossiped, turns out, guys certainly do as well. One of the three, I didn't recognize his voice, started talking about the whole thing with me, saying how I was a creep that didn't deserve the right to live. I had to bite down on my lower lip so hard it eventually started bleeding so I wouldn't start crying. But as I thought it couldn't get worse than that, I heard the other to agreeing, one saying; "I can't believe he did that. That's so gross, he's such a loser." And that wasn't just some meaningless, random dude I had seen around the school a couple of times. No, that was Zayn Malik. My very best friend."

No. No, no, no, no. How could he? Oh God no.

"Zayn and I had been best friends before we could practically walk. We had walked together to and from school everyday until that day. In times where I hadn't had anyone else, Zayn had been there from me. He was like a brother to me. I can't describe how much that tore me apart. That was much worse than what Taylor had done to me, because Taylor didn't mean anything to me, but you Zayn, you were my very best friend, you meant so fucking much to me. And you stabbed me in the back.

At that point I was squeezing my eyes shut with full power, my nails digging into my skin, lip now becoming blue and red of blood. Fortunately they left soon after. Then I let loose and I just cried, ugly cried. I was a sobbing mess on the toilet floor, when suddenly the door was opened, but I couldn't stop myself from crying. The person clearly heard me crying, and started asking if I was okay, probably not knowing it was me."

That person. It was me. And I did know it was Louis crying. Otherwise I probably wouldn't have asked to be quite honest.

"I just wanted to get away, so I quickly unlocked the door and started running out. But then I ran into someone. Harry Styles."

I gasp at hearing my name escape his mouth. What is he going to say now? I can't bare it. I can't breath.

"We both stumbled to the ground, so I hurried up again. As we stood up I made eye contact with those pretty, green eyes of his."

My eyes widen at the compliment and I feel like they could pop out at any moment. Oh, thank God that I am listening to this alone.

"Then, the most genuine question I had been asked the whole day came out of his mouth. Once again - after having seen who I actually was, and definitely having heard the rumors of me - he asked "Are you okay?" and it really looked like he actually cared."

I actually did care, that's the important part. I didn't care about the rumors, wether the were true or not. Though, I didn't think they were true, which turns out to be correct.

"But, of course, I thought he was just like all the others and was waiting for the perfect time to do something stupid to hurt me, so I just ran right out of the room and away from school property. The rest of the day though, the boys comment stuck to my brain."

The smile that had started to form after Louis complimented me, fades away as he keeps speaking. I could never imagine doing anything to hurt him in any way. I wonder what my tape will say then, because that's practically all the interaction we've had...

"But this tape isn't about Harry Styles, it's about Zayn, and how he ruined the only true friendship I thought I could rely on. But then again, it only gets worse from here."

And then I hear a click.