The Assistant : Jimmy Fallon fanfic (under editing)

Chapter 20

" Rachel... Rachel are you okay? Rach?" I could hear Jimmy talking to me, but I'd was like I was wrapped in cotton and he was trying to communicate through it. I blinked hard and focused on him. his face was red and he was clutching my phone. I reached up for it and he placed it in my hand.

" Momma?" I said through clenched teeth.

" Ryan he's umm... you... you probably need to book a flight...." she choked out.

" Okay mom.... love you." I whispered. I ended the call and stared out across the New York skyline. I felt Jimmy's arm around me. I couldn't cry... it was like all emotion was vacuumed out of me and I was just a numb ball of flesh. Jimmy lifted me up and carried me bridal style to the elevator and clicked the first floor. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my face into his shoulder. I wanted to cry. I really did. I just couldn't. he took me to his truck and buckled me into the passenger seat. i looked down at my fingers... the next thing I knew, Jimmy was carrying me into his house. he sat me on the couch and walked away. about 5 minutes later, he walked back in.

" Hey." he smiled sadly at me from the doorway. I looked up at him. " you okay? you didn't really like... react?" he plopped down next to me and pulled my head onto his shoulder. I cleared my dry throat and looked up at him.

" I-" then it hit me. It slammed into me like 2 tons of bricks. it felt like someone punched my chest. the emotion that had failed to show up at work bared it's ugly head right then. I felt a lump work its way into my throat as I gasped for air. My vision went blurry as tears soaked my face. I sobbed. it wasn't a pretty cry either... it was loud, snotty, shaky, disgusting crying. I clutched his shirt and pulled him to me. I wailed into his chest until I felt like my insides we're going to collapse. I gulped for air, trying to grab ahold of any type of calmness. I pulled away, still taking shaky breaths, and looked up at Jimmy. he wiped under my eyes with his thumbs and cupped my face.

" Sorry..." I nodded towards his shirt that was now soaking wet and had eyeshadow all over it.

" Meh... I have like 6." he gently mocked me. I gave him a sad laugh and laid my head in his lap.

" I booked 2 tickets for 9:00 tomorrow." I looked up at him.

" The show!" I said concerned.

" I'm taking an emergency Hiatus.cleared it with Lorne so it's all good." he smiled down at me. I stared up at him. I could see the genuine affection in his eyes. I smiled slightly and pulled him close.

" Jimmy... I said this a while ago.. and I don't think I've said it since, but I love you." I mumbled into his shirt. I could hear his heartbeat and it comforted me. I heard him chuckle.

" I love you too... I'm so glad you said that. I've been waiting to tell you and I wasn't sure if well.. if you did too." he smiled down at me."and since you probably don't want to sleep, what do you wanna do?" Jimmy rubbed my back, rocking us.

" I just wanna watch Netflix and eat french fries." I mumbled into his shoulder.

" That sounds great." he slowly stood up, draping a blanket over me, and grabbed his phone.

" Hey Jimmy..." I called to him before he walked away.

" Yea?" he ran his fingers through his hair. man, that got me every time.

" Thank you..." I but my lip.

" For what?" he chuckled, leaning on the doorway. his shirt was slightly unbuttoned and damn he looked good.

" For.... for just being awesome. you're like the best.... and fucking none of my other boyfriends were ever willing to buy French fries and only frenchfries to eat with me... they always got pizza and I don't always want pizza and like sometimes I want a burger or sometimes I just wanna eat Nutella and get fat and fuck I'm rambling." I blushed and he made his way to me. he smiled down at me, amused. he raised one eyebrow and bit his lip. fuck it. " just kiss me already." I grabbed his face and pulled him into my lips. I felt him giggle into it and pull my waist closer. he pulled away and jogged into the kitchen.

" Tease!" I called after him as he ran away giggling. a few minutes later, he walked in with his laptop. he sat it down in front of me and ran into his room.

" What?" I giggled as he popped back out and tossed me some sweatpants and a teeshirt.

" well I just thought.." Jimmy pointed to my dress and I nodded. i motioned for him to turn around.

" I'm changing right here. I don't feel like moving for 86 million years." I huffed and pulled the sweatpants on. Jimmy turned around and I pulled my dress over my head. the strap got stuck in my earring so I was casually stuck with my dress halfway off so that my arms and face were still covered. " what the FUCK!"

" What's happening?!" Jimmy giggled. I felt my face heat up.

"I'm stuck."I huffed, slumping back into the couch.

" Do you need help?" I heard a chuckle from his side of the room.

" I swear to God do not turn around or your eyes will burn." I tried to undo my earring, but it wouldn't budge. that's when I felt the dress come loose. I pulled it over my head to see Jimmy helping me. " DUDE!" I tried to cover my chest since I was only in a bra.

" Don't 'DUDE' me, I helped." he giggled and pulled the teeshirt over my head. I looked up at him sorta horrified but also very confused. he didn't even batt an eye at that. he just casually dressed and undressed a girl... I searched his eyes for some sort of answer. he only chuckled and slipped his jacket on. he stuffed his keys into his pocket and headed for the door.

" Going to get fries!" he chuckled and walked out.

••••••••••••••••••••

" Well I don't think I could eat anymore frenchfries ever in the world." Jimmy smiled and cuddled me as American Horror Story came to an end. I smiled absent mindedly and traced his veins in his arm. " you okay babe?" he took my hand in his and started rubbing it between his fingers.

" Yea... I'm scared... and I just feel empty." i sighed and laid my head on his shoulder. I crumpled his shirt in my hand and flattened it back out over and over again.

" Babe. I'm so sorry. I love you and I'm not sure how to comfort you right now? I'm just terrible at this. I've never been in this type of situation. the only way I know to help is to feed you frenchfries and watch Netflix." he sighed and laid his cheek on my head. " I'm sorry that I'm not a good enough boyfriend." I snapped up, looking into his eyes with all seriousness.

" James Thomas Fallon. you are the best boyfriend a girl could wish for. you got me frenchfries, watched Netflix with me, hell you scared the shit out of me at Starbucks. I don't think it gets any better than that." I pulled his face close. " And don't ever put yourself down because heaven knows that you are one, if not the, best person out there. you are so nice to your fans, and fucking you watched Netflix for," I looked at my watch." you watched Netflix with me for 4 hours Jimmy. that's how great you are." I kissed his nose. " and I thank God every day for you." I smiled at him and brought his lips to mine.i slowly pulled away. his eyes were bloodshot.

" Thank you. you have no idea how badly I needed to hear that. and you," he cupped my face." are so strong, beautiful, clever, hilarious, badass," he trailed his hand down the scar on my arm." and you just know how to take my breath away. just sleeping.... just the rise and fall of your chest, reassuring me that you're alive, is so beautiful. the fact that no guy has been willing to go all out for you, even if it means hours of Netflix, baffles me. you're so perfect and I just want to be with you and protect you and make sure that you're always safe because Rachel Striker, I love you." he kissed my forehead and I laid down on his chest. I smiled to myself and drifted off to sleep, something I thought I wouldn't be able to do. the only thing that echoes in my dreams that night was, "... Rachel Striker, I love you."