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Radio Show

It was an understatement to say that Hanbyeol was nervous. She wasn't nervous about talking about her album, her songs, or the rumors. Instead she was anxious for the host to walk in. The host could be claimed as an old friend on her part, but she did not know what he would say for his relation to her.

Choi Jihoon used to be on Olympus with her before he got eliminated in the later stages. He was a vocalist on the show and was like an older brother to her. Even though they were close while on the show, he grew distant after he was cut off and she rarely heard from him.

Her thoughts are broken when the door to the studio door closes. Hanbyeol jumps slightly and snaps her head to whoever it was. To no surprise it was Jihoon though he is on the phone and pays no attention to Hanbyeol as he gets to his seat.

She stares at the clock that counts down before it is time to air. When it reaches thirty seconds Jihoon hangs up and and shuffles through the papers that sit in front of him. In the last few seconds he looks up and gives Hanbyeol a smile.

"Dongsaeng." He says warmly right before the clock hits zero.

"Welcome back to 73.5 FM. It is time for Idol Talk where once a week we host an idol and talk about all sorts of topics. This week we have the much talked about Hera from Starship Entertainment here with us." Jihoon looks up at Hanbyeol when she doesn't answer and gestures gently to camera that is live streaming.

"Ah yes, hello my lovelies it is Hera here!" Hanbyeol gives the camera a small smile and a wave.

"We have limited time but so many questions. Before we get started remember that the rules are simple, any questions asked have to be answered and each of us get three passes!"

Hanbyeol shakes her head at her friend with a smirk, "I won't go easy on you oppa, so get ready!"

"Fair enough," Jihoon laughs, "I'll start with something easy so you can get a feel for it, this rounnd you can ask me questions too. What was it like winning Olympus?"

Hanbyeol freezes at the question. How could she respond when he was apart of the show too, only two rounds away from winning. Thinking quickly she gives a small smile and tries her best to answer.

"It was unreal to be honest. I didn't think I would win, I thought you or Alix unnie would win since you guys were more of the fan favorites. My turn, why did you stop talking to me after you left the show?"

"Yah, why so deep! I stopped because I thought you would be too busy. Being on the show was so physcially demanding. I feel like you got the feel of it now. This time you can't ask me questions, I'll do all the asking. These questions come directly from social media. Remember that you have three passes."

Hanbyeol's eyes widen from shock, "From the internet? Goodness, go easy on me Jihoonie!" 

The older male pulls out some notecards that probably have the prewritten questions on it. He shuffles through them until he found one that fit her request. "Here's the easiest for you, was the rumor that the songs changed on the album true?"

"No it wasn't." Hanbyeol laughs, her team had a good laugh about it when the word reached to them. "It probably came up because there was one song that I am working on currently, but I didn't get to finish it on time to be added. That song wasn't on the line up though, it was just a 'if I finish it, I'll add it if I can'."

Jihoon nods and looks up at her, "Will that song be a single or be added on to the next album?"

"That is a question that I don't have an answer to. It's not finished completely, maybe a third of the way done. I can't make any promises on it because I don't want my manager to get into trouble." She looks behind where the camera that is recording and gives a small wave to one of the men standing behind it. Her manager gives her a small smile of gratitude in response.

"So about this album, what is the meaning behind the name of the album?"

And here we go, Hanbyeol thinks. The following questions weren't going to be easy, no matter how simple the question is going to be. She knew to expect this, it was the reason she released so many self written songs. For her, it was time to open up more to her fans and to the world.

"Brother's keeper is a saying. Well, it is more of a title. It means that I am responsible for my brother, I am his guardian and I am responsible for him."

Jihoon tilts his head at her, "but I thought your brother was older than you."

With a heavy sigh, she nods her head while looking down at her hands that are folded in her lap. "My brother is, but he isn't here to speak for himself nor is he able to be here. Your next question is probably about the album cover and the album cover is the reason why I am his keeper."

"Can you explain more, I am a bit confused."

Licking her lips she prepares herself for what she is going to say out loud for the first time in her career, "My brother passed away when I was ten, a couple weeks away from my eleventh birthday, twelve if it was in Korea. The album cover is a picture of an unseen face with a halo and angel wings, it represents my brother."

He nods his head in understanding, "So that is why your lyrics in this album are a bit more dark."

"Yes. I wanted to be as real as possible in this album because I felt like I needed to open up more. I want to be able to talk more about my brother without having to tell small lies here and there to cover up something that people don't know. I didn't do it to get sympathy or pity, I did it so that I more people can connect to me and my music."

Jihoon keeps on nodding his head, even he did not know about this. He shuffles through the cards to try and find a question, but the ones that he reads are almost all answered with what she just said. He puts them down and looks up at her.

"So your music video for Molecules follows your story?"

"Close to it. My brother was my best friend growing up and the colored clips are the, what could have been moments. The clip with me upset is more or less of me realizing that those moments aren't real and won't happen. The darker clips are the reflections and still the what if moments, with with a heavy look onto them because of the realization. Then there is me at the end, by myself, looking behind me, as if looking about on those thoughts."

"So this also all explains that one instagram post where some fans and antis thought you were in a relationship. Boy, how wrong they were."

Hanbyeol laughs at that, the complete opposite of how she originally reacted "People like to assume things as soon as they see it, we all do it. I just wanted to post something to share how I felt at the moment . It took ages to find a photo of my brother where I know he would've been fine for me to post it and I wasn't going to delete it because some people got the wrong idea."

Jihoon gives her a smile, "I am proud of you dongsaeng for being brave enough to open up on this topic and willingly talking about it on air. Though we still have a couple minutes left, we will end here since every question has been answered. Playing next is Molecules by my precious dongsaeng Hera."

Jihoon does a hand signal and the On Air sign turns off and the red light of the camera disappears. Releasing all the air she held in her lungs, she smiles slightly. She had done it, something she told herself she would never do. Now its time to face the reactions of her fans.

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~Unedited 

When I break my own word. I am sorry. I went to DC to honor my brother for memorial weekend and then applications for college got mixed up and I had to do another graduation with a group that I am involved with and then I just learned I will be moving to another state soon for my dad's work. Here I thought my summer would be smooth, but I thought wrong.

Please be patient with me, I have been really  stressed with all these sudden changes.