Vivi Vidi Amavi

prologue

  The houses on this street all seem to be the same, inside and out. The families looked so perfect and happy, but in some cases were far from it. Like mine. We had one of the nicest houses on the block, but I think we were the most unhappy family in the state of Rhode Island.

   My mom was a woman with a voice and a dream. Unfortunately, her husband and two kids weren't apart of that dream. She picked up and left without a word. My twin brother, Justyce, and I were 12. My dad was heartbroken and hasn't looked at another woman since. He still holds on to the little bit of hope that she'll come back. I did too, for a while. But when she didn't show up to the graduate of her own children, I lost hope. My mother was gone without a trace left behind.

    My dad became a workaholic after that. He said that it distracted him. He was the mayor of Barrington, and later became the senator. He was so captivated in his work that he seemed like a ghost to us. Late nights turned into overnights at the office. We wouldn't see him for days. But when we finally did see him, he wo uldnt give us the time of day.

   Justyce was my best friend. He and my boyfriend, Blake, were the only friends I really had in high school. Justyce was ivy league bond and had a lacrosse scholarship to basically anywhere he wanted to go. But even the fame he had gained couldn't keep him out of trouble. Justyce got into the wrong crowd and lacrosse and academics were no longer her life. Drugs and alcohol easily captivated his life, ruining the shot at the amazing future he had waiting for him. After about 2 years, he realized he needed to work on his addiction and went to rehab. But that was before graduation and the last thing he said to me was, "It's just hard."

  As for me, growing up I couldn't be myself. With the absence of my mom, the critism of my dad, the perfection that once was my brother, I felt like my dreams and I would never be enough for my family. I found love in photography and filming. And no matter how hard I tried to show my dad that that was what I was meant to do, he pushed on that it was the 21st century and women could be politicians, not a filmmaker. By the end of high school, I knew that I just needed to get away.

    I lost who I was and just couldn't seem to find myself again. That is, at least, until I met him. He was just standing on a boat when I met him, and by the end of the summer, he meant more to me than my trip. He brought out a side of me I never saw. He pushed me to be who I wanted to be.

  And most importantly, he taught me how to love myself.