IronDad and Spidyson One Shots Vol. 1 [UNDERGOING EDITING, REQUESTS ARE CLOSED]

The Red Men

Here's the request:

Peter and Wade are the Red Men, hitmen for SHIELD. They have to help the Avengers because the Avengers were being dumb and got themselves capture or something.

The avengers don't know Peter or Wade. Peters serious about his job and Wade isn't. Enough said.

Here we go!

————

3rd Person POV

   "Parker! Wilson! My office, now." Fury called as Peter and Wade looked up from their training, giving each other a confused glance before walking in, shutting the door behind them.

   "What do you need, sir?" Peter asked, cocking his eyebrow while sitting on the ceiling, while Wade leaned against the wall. Fury never called them in unless it was serious, so this had to be good.

   "What have I told you about sitting on the ceiling- ugh, I don't have time for this. The avengers were compromised on a mission. They got cocky and now are being held captive. Since you two are powered individuals and have dealt with this branch of HYDRA before, you two are the best to go in. No funny business, Wilson. You leave immediately. Got it?" Fury said, rubbing his temples. Peter nodded and left the room quickly, changing into his suit. Wade did the same, waving to Fury. Fury rolled his eyes, regretting his decision already. None of the Avengers knew about the Red Men, aka Agent Parker and Wade Wilson, and he had preferred to keep it that way, seeing as they'd probably get along SWELL. 'At least Parker is sensible...' Fury thought, before returning to his paperwork.

~~Time Skip UwU~~

   Peter and Wade found the old base and immediately infuriated, searching for the captive avengers. While crawling through the vents, Wade said, "You know baby boy, this could count as a date! You and me, together, alone-"

   "Can it, Wilson. We're on a mission, don't screw this up." Peter said, his suits lids lowered in concentration and annoyance. He can't focus when Wade is being stupid.

   "Awww, why so cold, Agent Parker?" Wade said, mimicking Fury's voice. Peter groaned and then said, "There they are. Let's get this over with." Peter smashes through the air vent, landing perfectly while Wade landed on his ass, saying, "Ouch! Baby boy, you're so cruel!!!!!" Pater just rolled his eyes and shot webbing at the cameras, then made his way to the specialized cells, seeing each avenger in a different one. Peter approached Tony, who was without is suit, saying, "We're here to bust you guys out. Any ideas how to deactivate the electrocuted bars?"

   Tony frowned and said, "I've tried everything from here. These guys know what they're doing. Also, who the hell are you guys?"

   "Introductions later. For now, I need to get my stupid partner to cause a distraction while I deactivate the system." Peter said as he walked towards Wade, saying, "Get off your ass and go do something stupid and distracting while I go deactivate the system." Wade gave a thumbs up while Peter groaned, as he climbed up the wall and back in the vents, hearing Wade yell and do stupid stuff.

   'Why did I have to go with Wade...' Peter thought as he accessed the control room with ease, deactivating the cell systems one by one. On the camera, he saw that Wade had attracted the guards attention, and he watched as one by one, the cells went down, and the avengers fought the guards and took them down.

   Then guards broke down the door. 'Shit!' Peter thought as he took them out quickly, crawling up the vents and back to the fight area. By the time he arrived, every guard was down, and Wade called, "Hey Spidey! What took you so long?"

   "I got caught up with other guards. Anyway, the SHIELD plane is here, let's go." He said as Tony, now back in his suit, blasted a hole in the wall. They all walked out and climbed onto the plane. After settling down, Clint said, "So... who the hell are you guys?"

   "Well, our team is known as The Red Men, but I'm Spider-Man and he's Deadpool." Peter said, sitting on the ceiling. "Deadpool here is an annoying mercenary, and I'm an average hero. Fury made us come save your sorry asses and well, here we are." 

   "And how come we didn't know about this until now?" Natasha asked, narrowing her eyes in suspicion. 

   "Fury didn't want you all to know. Something about getting along, or something." Peter said, looking at his web shooters. Tony looked closer and said, "You use artificial webs? And who manufactured that?"

   "I did. And yeah, I can shoot real webs, but it tires me out quickly. This is easier." Peter says, not looking up fro his web shooters. "Anyway, we're here. I need to go report to Fury, later." Peter said, flipping out of the plane as the tower came into view.

   "Yeah, the author is getting tired. She needs actual sleep but is probably just gonna update some more and read more fics. So, later!" Wade says, before flipping out too.

   The avengers stared after them in complete confusion, and Tony was the first one to speak up,

   "What the hell was he talking about and why did Fury not tell us about those two?"

————

891 Words

Wade stfu I don't need sleep. SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK!

Anyway, hope you liked this, later Webheads.

-🍎SiederTreeStudios🍎-