If you've given a one in a million chance to go back in the past, will you grab it?
May mga bagay sa mundo na kailangang i let go. May mga bagay rin na kailangan mong kumapit. The cycle of life is waking up, letting go & holding on. Mahirap kalabani...
Oops! Ang larawang ito ay hindi sumusunod sa aming mga alituntunin sa nilalaman. Upang magpatuloy sa pag-publish, subukan itong alisin o mag-upload ng bago.
Dio Mondragon
The Majestic
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia
9:00 P.M
"I hope we find us without loosing me & you in the process. But I didn't find us, I lost you, I'm losing me. This is the hard thing about loving somebody, we lost ourselves. And when they don't love us back, we lost our heart. We become stone cold, we forgot how to love, we push people away so that we can protect our heart from shattering again. It hurts..." It hurts so much....
I was browsing my phone, checking my social media and stuffs when I saw this quote. Napatigil ako ng makita ko ito, parang punong-puno ito ng mga salitang mahirap i-digest. Sinabi ko sa sarili ko, sana hindi mangyari sa akin.
Sana...
Nandito ako ngayon sa Malaysia to attend an event - the annual Arnold Jansenn Prize for Medicine. Yes, you heard it right. After how many years, I've been invited in this prestigious event not just as a guest or presenter but a nominee in the field of Cardiothoracic Medical Advancement. Lima kaming nominee for this category, dalawang Japanese Doctor, isang indian Doctor, isang Singaporean at ako ang nag-iisang Filipino. Sa lahat ng category this year, ako lang ang Pinoy nominee. Kasama ko sa event sina Paul, si Doc Albert at ang Daddy ko.
I should be happy, even though hindi pa sure kung mananalo ako - I should be happy. Being nominated in this prestigious award giving body is already a milestone to celebrate. But I felt empty, I'm forcing a smile but deep within I'm crying, I'm lonely and I'm longing.
And you know why....
Sky is not with me today.
We barely talk these days dahil nga pareho kaming busy sa aming mga trabaho. Kung magkakaroon naman ng pagkakataon na mag-usap kami ay nakakatulugan namin ang isat-isa.
I don't believe in long distance relationship, kasi mahirap iwork-out yun. Madaming what if's, madaming sagabal, madaming temptation. Pero sinimulan kong maniwala, I tried configuring my beliefs for Sky. I tried adjusting, I tried everything for our relationship to work out. I don't believe in God, I'm not religious and I don't pray. But this past 3 months I tried connecting with him, I tried talking to him. Yun lang ang pinagdarasal ko, na sana ma-survive namin ito. Na sana protektahan niya si Sky, na sana pag-uwi niya KAMI parin.
Sky is my world now, Sky is my everything. And I can't lose him. I just can't.
Ang tagal ko nakatitig sa wallpaper ng phone ko, it's already 9:30. Tinititigan ko doon ang photo namin ni Sky nung sinundo ko siya sa Baguio. His eyes are closed and his smile is wide. We took a doufie while I was kissing him in the cheeks.
And then my phone beep, biglang gumuhit ang ngiti sa labi ko.
"Congratulations in advance My Dragon" message mula kay Sky. Punong puno ito ng emojis, heart, kiss at may talong, saging at water drops.
