Hate {s.m}

1

The cruel words echoed through his head, it was like a broken record.

"I just don't feel the same anymore."

He scoffed to himself, drinking the last of the alcohol in his hands. The substance no longer burnt his throat, it didn't even leave a bitter aftertaste in his mouth. If anything, it soothed all of the pain. It was his escape.

"It's hard, you know," he said, taking a large swig of his alcohol.

"What is?" She asked him. She had to watch her love harm himself while she just sat back and witnessed it all.

"You. Leaving. Everything." He sighed and downed the remains of the bottle. She just sat in an uncomfortable silence and listened to him. "You haven't done anything wrong. And that's the worst thing," he laughed in a mocking way.

"How so?" She questioned him.

"I have no reason to hate you, I want to. You're leaving me all alone, for what reason?" His voice grew louder and more aggressive.

"You know why-"

"No, I don't." He snapped, reaching for a new bottle. "You're telling me it's because you don't feel the same? Bullshit," he scoffed.

"I'm sorry," she said softly, in the hopes it would calm him down.

"Help me out a little here. Just give me a reason to hate you," he told her. The pain in his voice was unbearable, she wanted to help him.

"What do you want me to do?" She asked.

"Just tell me you found someone else, or you've cheated on me. Something," he yelled. Her heart broke at the sight of him like this.

"I can't do that to you," she shook her head.

"What? So you're going to let me suffer without a reason? Please. Help me get over you," he pleaded. Tears were brimming in his eyes yet he didn't seem to care. "I want to hate you, but I don't." He said to her.

"You want to hate me?" Her voice cracked. He sat up and looked at her.

"Of course I do. You're leaving without a reason!" He snapped. She knew he was angry, but it still hurt that he felt that way towards her.

Silence enveloped them both once again, nobody knowing what to say.

"What happens now?" He asked, his words slightly slurred.

"I don't know," she said truthfully.

"Do you leave?" He suggested, more to himself than anyone else.

"I guess so," she sighed before standing up. She stepped over the many bottles and looked back at him.

"Bye, Shawn." She said sweetly before walking towards the door. He kept looking up at the ceiling. He didn't want to see her, he was afraid he'll want to fall right back into her arms.

The door closed with a slam and he was left alone with his own thoughts. She had left him for no reason, well, no good reason. Surely nothing had changed drastically in their relationship. He certainly didn't feel a change.

She didn't even care. She left him with nothing, she took everything from him. His love, his happiness, his motivation. Surely, that's enough to hate someone?

"She didn't give me a reason," he said to himself, grabbing yet another bottle. "She just got up and left, like I mean nothing to her," he scoffed with a cruel laugh.

"Stupid feelings," he said, taking a long sip of alcohol. "Stupid love," he took another. "Stupid me." He downed the remains of the bottle before tossing it to the side.

She's controlling him. He's giving her all the power to control his emotions, and he hated that.

But as much as he tried, no matter what, he couldn't hate her. He loved her too much.