throw aways

breakups

this is a short imagine i wrote for my friend awhile back. this isn't edited i just copy and pasted from my notes.

written December 2018.

It's okay to be sad Zoe assured herself.

She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth.

Ambition is no match for things you can't control and that's something she's come to except. sometimes the stars won't a-line, the wind will change directions and you'll have to deal with it.

She chewed on her lip, a sinking feeling resting in her tummy, as things began to settle in more, maybe the pep talk in her head wasn't going to be good enough because her nose stung and her eyes were glazed over.

Zoe felt like a kicked dog, the wind changed directions and fucked her love love life up like a house in a hurricane. It's easier to blame some other hand in this, because everything was fine, and they were happy right? Right.. yeah she thought so, distance wasn't that much of a complication that's what he said.

No, 'I'm so naive to think that my ignored messages and my neglected displays of affection didn't mean anything' she thought as she tasted the metallic tang of blood from her lip. The taste brought her out of her thoughts and she realized her urgent breathing and her shaking hands. It's been so long since the last panic attack and it was because he was there to comfort her, and oh god how ironic that the moment there was no one Zoe wanted to be held.

This was too much and tears fell helplessly down her soft cheeks staining quickly as it dried because of the cold breeze. She was sitting outside on the grass in front of her house, which she knew was completely unreasonable and stupid, she was going to be left with a broken heart and an awful cold.

The text came up not even an hour before, it explained his feelings of doubt, one after the other before zoe had the chance reply she watched her boyfriend talk himself out of wanting to date her.

Zoe tried to save it but he didn't open a single one of her pleads.

when you'd pictured yourself with them for so long, things for the future, you could imagine how distraught she felt.

The tears wouldn't stop, and she felt like screaming but her lungs already burned from the lack of air and the only thing she could think of was how much she wanted it to last.

But as it is understood, not everyone gets their happy ending, maybe no one does, and maybe she never will.