Self harm is serious. The person that he/she feels so much pain. Who takes that blade to their skin is not determined by the seriousness of their scars. They all kill their pain with pain. Every cut tells a story, behind every single one of them lays more pain than someone from the outside could ever begin to understand. The smallest scratch can hold hours of tears and hatred. The frustration and hopelessness can't be measured in blood. They will all see their reflection in the mirror and everyday be reminded of what they have done to themselves. They will all make excuses for wearing long sleeves. They will all know both the reliefs and the regrets of this brutal. Self harm is a disease of the mind, and the amount of scars on the outside does not show the amount of suffering on the inside. Do you ever feel, so sad that your chest aches and your heart beats? But you just feel so empty, like you're nothing and your life is nothing. You feel like everything would be better, if you could just sleep for a will. You would cry in the place that no one can see and hear you. Do you ever feel like that? That's how I always feel. People think depression is sadness. People think depression is crying. People think depression is dressing in black. People are wrong. Depression is the constant of being numb. Being numb to emotions and being numb to lie. You wake up in the morning just to go back to bed again. Day's aren't really days. They are just annoying obstacles that need to be faced. How do you face them? Maybe through medication, through drinking and through putting scars. When you're depressed, you understand onto anything that can get you through the day. That's what depression is, not sadness or tears. It's the effect sense of numbness and the desire for anything that can help you make it from one day to the next. I'm the girl that talk others out of suicide, but has a hard time doing the same for herself. She truthfully assures everyone how beautiful, lovely, wonderful and precious, they all are. She doesn't want them to feel the same way. She does the opposite. I wake up and pretend I'm okay and that nothing is wrong. I do this so I don't seek attention. So that no one knows how I feel I'm too scared to say it, so I hide behind a smile. It's my mask. Isn't sad when you get hurt so much, you can finally say "I'm used to it" It's okay to dislike someone, or even dislike someone for no reason. But if not okay to disrespect, degrade and humiliate that person.
YOU ARE READING
My Worst Life
Non-Fiction"Little did you know, that when your best friend tells you they're fine, they're sitting on their own, rocking back and forth, with suicide on their mind, tears streaming down their face, the only thing they keep them here, is YOU".
