The Facts About a Guy In Love

Dear Reader,

I implore you read this letter as if we've known each other for quite some time, and mayhap as if we were in the middle of a coversation. I only ask that you read with an open mind and spare your judgement until the end.

There was this saying that I came upon on Facebook:

"Behind my smile is a story you will never understand"

It's true...

Many questions arise when a guy starts to like a girl. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know if a guy is interested in a girl. We always send out signals. But there are times that we simply cannot say how we feel. There are reasons. Reasons that are hard to explain...

... and even harder to understand.

My name is Dennis. And this is my story.

I was born into a middle-class family in the city of Manila. My parents are still together (with that, i count myself lucky). I have a younger brother who, in a matter of speaking, is a bit better off now as he has two kids and a wife to go home to.

I, however, do not...

I was never good with relationships to begin with. I was a late bloomer when it came to that. My first relationship was at the age of 19 and it lasted a year. It was not what I expected it to be back then. And obviously, I wasn't prepared to be hurt when she left me for another.

It took me 2 years to recover from that and until now I guess I'm still reeling. 14 years down the drain.

..........................

SAPPHIRE

She was 16 then when I was introduced to her. It was just a conversation over the phone that lasted 8 hours that we finally decided that we were in love. Right then, we were a couple. We met at SM Megamall the next day as she was accompanying her friend there. When we saw each other I held her hand and right then, I never wanted to let her go.

A whirlwind romance ensued. There was the typical ways of showing affection and care. We wrote live letters and spoke on the phone regularly. I introduced her to my parents and we made sweet promises to each other. We daydreamed of our future children and what we would name them. Reign William and Reign Elizabeth... names that stuck with me all these years.

I didn't know what went wrong. It was all so sudden. Things began to fall apart... and my life spiraled out of control.

I went under...

..........................

Blondie Grace

She came into my life so suddenly and left it even faster.

Grace was a kind girl. A mature and understanding partner. She gave me time and encouraged me to get up and move on. It was painful for her to see me like that. I knew...

She never left my side as I continued to heal from the wounds of the past. She was my friend and my confidante. I never knew that we would be more.

And at the same time, another heartbreak.

I was leaving for the US in few days when I got the news. Grace was pregnant. I loved her as she loved me and I decided to stay by her side during her pregnancy. She knew I was about to leave and I told her I would happily stay instead of leaving.

We had a fight... she wanted me to leave. And I never heard from her or saw her again.

Only from common friends did I hear about her giving birth to our son... Roshean...

.............................

Sherill

She was sweet when I met her. She was better when I got to know her. But she would break my heart the most.

Sherill was a coleague of mine in the US. Although we were stationed in different states, we were the best buds during training here in the philippines. We went to luch together and told stories. Laughed at jokea and our own mistakes. It was all fun and games then.

But I started longing for something more. Sherill gave me a chance wheb she visited me in New York. We started on rocky shores. A bit of troubles here and there but we overcame it.

When the time came to go back home, we met at the airport and hugged and kisses like we were married. I thought she was the one.

Eventually, we did get married and we had a son named Simon. And he is a special child. He was diagnosed with Mild Autism when he was 3.

It was then that I saw a change in Sherill...

She always came home late and we fought frequently. She seems to bury herself in her work. I was left to fend for our son by myself as she never goes near him. It even came to a point that she said in her sleep that simon was the worst thing that happened in her life...

For a man to cry takes a lot of coaxing and persuasion. But I cried then. I cried for my son and myself. I ask God in an angry prayer "why me? why do I suffer in love? is your plan for me only this?".

Who can blame a man for feeling that way? To feel less than adequate even if he gives his soul to his wife?

And then...

She left.

She left with another man...

and she took my son away from me...

and gave him away...

............................

Mhac

Mhac is not overly beautiful. She isn't ugly either. She simply exudes a charismatic air about her. She is easy to get along with. Even easier to talk to.

I like her...

but she likes another...

When they broke up, I sent her signals. Subtle but very much undeniable...

but I never got to tell her...

The way I feel. How much I care.

All because I am scared it will all happen again.

Thank you for reading dear friend and reader...

I do hope this gives more insight.

Dennis BB.