Letters To The Heart

Entry 9: Life As Is

Dear Stranger,

It's been a strange week. Since Christian and I quarreled, we haven't spoken—not once. When we pass each other in the halls, he barely acknowledges my presence, just a glance before walking away. I feel the weight of the silence, and though part of me is relieved, another part longs to resolve whatever it is that's keeping us at odds.

Father, too, has been different. He seems weary lately, slower in his movements and less involved in the daily affairs of the kingdom. Normally, he's always on the move, attending to matters with energy and focus. Now, he sits more, listens more, but acts less. It's concerning. I wonder if the weight of this engagement has affected him as well.

Tonight, Anna has graciously taken time off to spend with me. I need her. There's no one else I trust more to share my thoughts with, especially after what Christian said.

He called me selfish, accused me of being incapable of ruling, a girl too young to understand the burden of leadership. But here I am, willing to do something I never thought I would—marry a man I've only known through letters, and until recently, considered nothing more than a cherished friend. I wonder if he's even thought about why I'm willing to go through with this engagement.

If it were purely my choice, I wouldn't marry at all, not now. I'm not ready for that, not for the life it brings. But this marriage could be the key to peace between our nations, something generations before us have fought for in vain.

For centuries, Cair Paravel and Rosetta have been locked in wars—battles fought over power, land, and pride. The past hundred years have brought a fragile truce, a ceasefire known by all to be temporary. Our nations may not be fighting now, but we are always one wrong move away from bloodshed. Both Cair Paravel and Rosetta are strong—two of the most powerful kingdoms in existence—but that also makes us vulnerable. The rest of the world sees us as either a looming threat or a valuable ally. A marriage between our nations could bring lasting peace. And yet, Christian... he refuses to see it.

How can he accuse me of not putting my country first when he's the one unwilling to wed for its sake? What does he think marriage is for a ruler, if not a tool to safeguard the kingdom?

I've read countless stories of kings and queens who entered loveless marriages for the good of their people. It's what is expected of us, our duty. I don't want this marriage, but I am willing if it means my people will not have to suffer through another war. Christian speaks of duty, yet he recoils when duty demands this of him. Why?

I must finish this later. I've been summoned by the council for an urgent matter, though I've not yet been informed of its nature.

I wonder what awaits me.

~ Princess Elise

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