Grounded

Chapter 10- battle scars

WARNING: Many people are likely to find this chapter upsetting, as there are depictions of pain and assault, do not continue reading if you are likely to be affected by these themes.

CLARKE'S POV

I stare curiously up at the piercing green eyes I have begun to admire, I know that she is doing this to help, but that terrifies me, what if she runs when she finds out? Or she just sees me as broken? The only other person that knows is Raven, but I have already made up my mind to tell her, Lexa has comforted me as much as she can even though she has her own struggles, and after what she just saw.......it would be worse to carry on hiding it.

After about fifteen minutes, she finally stops and I reluctantly tear my gaze from her face to our surroundings as she slowly lowers us onto the ground. I am still laid in her lap, cuddled against her chest, but she makes no move to separate us, instead pulling me in closer. Neither of us move or speak for a while, a silent agreement to enjoy the peace for a while,but eventually her gentle voice breaks through the silence.

"I'm here Clarke".

I know what she is asking of me, and I know that I am ready for her to know, but that doesn't make me feel any less terrified. I untangle myself from her hold and carefully drag myself to my feet, holding out my hand for Lexa to join me.

"Just don't freak out, okay?" I ask, and once she gives me a slow nod. I sigh and begin to reach to the hem of my top, slowly lifting it up. But I am interrupted by her reaching out her hand to cup my cheek, her eyes searching mine, "Clarke what are you doing? You don't have to-"

But instead I reach up and place one hand over Lexa's on my cheek, "it is easier for me to show you.........I trust you". With that I grab and slowly lift her hands from my face. I continue to undress until I am left in only my underwear and I once again drag my gaze to Lexa's. "It's okay Lexa". And with that she lowers her gaze and kneels in front of me. She reaches up her hand but pauses and glances up to me, silently asking for permission. I slowly nod, and she reaches to drag her finger to trace some of the scars across my stomach, her eyes widened in shock. I really hope I am not making a mistake.

I close my eyes and look up to the sky, the only sign of Lexa being the soft sensation of her tracing patterns across my body. This continues for at least 10 minutes and when I no longer feel her soft touch I slowly flutter my eyes open and move my gaze down, Lexa's head is hung. I slowly lower myself to my knees and move my hand under her chin, forcing her to meet my gaze, but I never could have expected what I saw, Lexa had a pain in her eyes that I have never witnessed before and there are tears slowly dripping down her beautiful face.

LEXA'S POV

I can't help it. As I am slowly tracing my fingertips over the hundreds of scars across Clarke's body I feel my eyes fill with tears, and I do nothing to stop them from falling. Some have random shapes and others spell out insulting words. Anger fills my heart, though it is overpowered by complete and utter despair.......the great Heda brought to her knees, completely vulnerable to the pain of this beautiful woman. I have seen many tragedies in my command, but this is the worst I have experienced, and knowing I could do nothing to take away her suffering leaves me feeling completely and utterly broken......she never deserved this, and with that thought my hand falls back to my side and I lower my gaze to the ground, ashamed.

I soon feel her soft hand under my chin forcing it up, but I still refuse to meet her gaze.

"Lexa......please look at me."

When I finally return her gaze she gives me a small smile and her eyes are filling with tears too, "I'm okay Lex, just let me get dressed so I don't freeze to death, okay?" she says gently.