Was it worth it?

Is It Worth It?

Was it really worth it?

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He was definitely my first love.

He was my everything.

He accepted me, all my flaws. All of my bad features.

All my complaints, he listened.

All my problems, he helped.

He gave me everything he had to offer.

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And I was definitely the same to him.

But then, when we thought everything was perfect, there came the thing we feared the most.

" B-but how? Where did I go wrong? "

" I'm sorry if I did something to upset you, please don't be irrational babe.. "

He stood infront of me. Devastated. Crying. Begging.

"  Don't leave me please.. Let's talk it out like we used to.. I'll give you everything you want babe, please.. "

I explained everything to him.

I've changed.

These past few months, I always get mad at him for no apparent reason.

It's like my brain is finding faults at everything he does.

When he makes mistakes, I snap.

When he cares too much, I get mad.

When he gets worried at everything I do, I just.. I just snap immediately, no matter how small the problem was, I would just make it worse.

Then that was the time I realized it.

I've lost it. I've lost my love for him. Everything I feel whenever he's sweet to me, it's nothing now. I feel nothing. Just annoyance.

So I decided to leave him for good.

I don't deserve him. He deserves better.

He always gives everything that I need.

He never fails on saying I'm beautiful and perfect.

He encourages me always.

He spends big amounts, just for me. Just to gift me. Just to please me.

But here I was, always complaining on how he looks.

Always selfish whenever he needs me.

Always discouraging him, because I always wanted the awards and the praises.

Not even lending him even just a cent, because I was saving for something that would only benefit me.

I never bothered thinking that he was stressed at his home. On his friends. On me. That explains why the bags under his eyes are getting worse.

I never thought that maybe, he needed me too. Needed some support.

So I left for good.

I do hope he finds that " better someone " for him.

I don't want to add more to his problems.

Maybe, if I left, his life would be better. It'd be less stressful. It'd be one less baggage of a problem.

And maybe, he might find the one that actually suits him. That would treasure him. That would treat him right, more than I should have.

So tell me, was it worth it?

Leaving him, just because I don't love him anymore? Because I think he deserves better? Is he really better off without me? Did I really want to do that? Was all of this worth it because I thought this was for his and my own good?