Someone asked me what anxiety felt like to me
This is all i could come up with.....
Its like your mind has gone haywire and it's constantly filling your head with fears that may not even exist. walking down the street while your mind whispers to you about some imaginary man following you. Counting the money in your hand at the shops for the fith time before giving it to the cashier, still worried there isn't enough there. Its constantly fearing that your friends hate you, that they're just being nice to you because they want you to leave them alone. It's constantly overthinking your actions; are you breathing right, are you walking right, is everyone staring at you? Its thinking constantly that this isnt right, that other people dont think like this, dont act like this, aren't like this. Its the thoughts that you're an outcast that you should breathe normal that you should think normal that you should be normal. But you cant be. you cant be because your mind is filled with gears constantly turning sending you into panic over tiny things "does he know I like him" "Will they hate me" or "What if i go to the party and they only invited me as a joke". The simpilist thing like hearing your name in someones conversation or having someone geusture in your direction sends you into panic as your anxiety becomes gravity pulling you down. Constantly you believe that you did something wrong, you lay awake at nght with thoughts like 'what if someone breaks in' or 'did she not reply to my text message because she hates me' or 'is he laughing with his friends about how stupid i am to like him' it doesn't matter that the break ins happened in another country, theres no such thing as running out of credit of someone keeping the secret they promised to keep. It's hearing the ticking of a time bomb but not finding it anywhere, it's having a knife held to your throat by a raging lunatic, its having someone pointing a gun at your loved one while they damand you give them something you dont have. Its everything you could possibly worry about all rolled into one.
It's fear.
It's panic.
It's terrifying.
