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Reasons - Memeulous

There's so many reasons, so many thoughts why I hated him. Why he repulsed me. George Andrews, better known as Memeulous, also known as prick, bastard and my personal favourite cheating wanker.

That man, or should I say boy, was the one who took my heart and broken it, not once but a million times. Yes, I'm a fool for believing his stupid stories, his lies. He angers me to this day. I'm thankful his face isn't out for the world to see. No one needs to see the smug grin on his face, the look of a champion. He wasn't, he won't ever be a champion. He's a little boy too caught up in a whirlwind.

He's a junkie, a fool, an idiot and a lowlife. The thought of him being in my home, in my life disgusts me. Why did I keep putting myself in that environment? His friends saw it. They tried to stop it but he knew best, the king amongst them all. He ended up losing most of them. They couldn't be arsed to deal with his shit, but I stayed. Not anymore. I hate that man, he's broken me too much. I don't have the energy.

The name George Andrews is dead to me, that boy is dead to me. Those memories have become nightmares that haunt me forever. He can blame drink, drugs or just his own stupidity but walking in on him with that women crawling over him like she owned him. I cannot and I will not stand for it no more. He knew what he was doing, he had no remorse. Once a cheat, always a cheat. He was gone out of my life, for good. Goodbye George Andrews, hello new me. I will not stand for that, I will not let myself go through that again!

***

George fucking Andrews. That man, the one I promised to avoid. I saw him today. He was broken, in a different way to normal. He was alone, he was hurting, he looked like me. I thought I was strong, I'm not. I thought I could get through it, I can't. He was always so much to me, he's been through everything. I miss him, the good him. I know he won't be that man again but that's who I want.

If I could go back I would, I'd stay in the moment when we were happy. That won't ever happen, that won't ever be my life again but I can dream. He was charming, loving, supportive. He was everything you needed. He would buy me flowers, we would go for meals. I remember one day, the middle of my exams, he met me just outside the hall of my university and he held me tight. That was the first day he said he loved me and I loved him. We went for a walk in the park, he took me out for the most incredible meal and then we sat in his flat and laughed for hours. Alex told us to be quiet as he was recording but we couldn't help ourselves.

That's one of the thousands of reason I love George Andrews. He was, he could be, the man that I fell in love with and I doubt I'll ever fall out of love with him. He's my everything and I just want him back in my life. I just can't be hurt again. Maybe this is the end of the chapter, but I sure as hell hope now. Because, as much as I don't want to admit it, I will always be in love with Mr George Andrews.