The Harold Song (Harry Styles One Shot)

The Harold Song

I miss your soft lips, I miss your white sheets, I miss the scratch of your unshaved face on my cheeks.

Letting go was hard. After many years of trying and trying, it seemed almost impossible. When you gave someone every part of you completely only to get nothing in return, it takes a huge piece of you. Harry Edward Styles will always have the biggest piece of me, and I let him take it.

And this is so hard cause I didn't see that you were the love of my life and it kills me.

I wanted to get better, I wanted to move on, but I just couldn't seem to get myself to crawl out of bed. I couldn't seem to get myself to shower and be a productive human. It was stupid to let a boy get to me this much, even I knew that. He wasn't just a boy to me though. He wasn't just someone to get over. He was everything, his smile, his hair, his dimples. He was everything.

I see your face in strangers on the street, I still say your name when I'm talking in my sleep. And in the limelight, I play it off fine, but I can't handle it when I turn off my nightlight.

When I finally managed to get out of bed and be a productive human, I was still empty, numb. I was functioning, but barely. In my head, I kept telling myself that I wasn't going to let him get to me. I wasn't going to let him ruin my life. I didn't believe the words I told myself but I was trying hard to convince myself. Walking to the coffee shop was even worse, I saw his face everywhere, heard his laugh. I figured my mind was playing tricks on me so I just brushed it off and continued on. I grabbed my coffee and made my way to work. I wasn't going to let my friends know how badly I was hurting, I didn't want to burden them with my problems. He's just a boy. It was just a break up. So I sucked it up, I kept busy and tried not to think about the aching in my heart. I talked to my coworkers and boss like nothing ever happened. For a while it actually got my mind off of it. That all changed when I got back to my apartment and realized how alone I really was. I threw my clothes in the laundry basket and rolled into bed, letting a few tears fall as I try to fall asleep.

They say that true love hurts, well this could almost kill me. Young love murder, that is what this must be. I would give it all to not be sleeping alone.

The life is fading from me while you watch my heart bleed, young love murder, that is what this must be. I would give it all to not be sleeping alone.

I would be lying if I said I hadn't been checking up on him from time to time. I know it's not a good way to try to heal but I was genuinely concerned about his well being. He didn't post much on social media, but when he did, he seemed happy. He didn't seem like he was dying on the inside like I was. Him being happy only made the hurt grow stronger. I gave the man almost five years of my life, and he wasn't hurting like I was.

Remember the time we jumped the fence when the Stones were playing and we were too broke to get in. You held my hand and they made me cry while I swore to God it was the best night of my life.

My mind goes back to the time when The Rolling Stones were playing in Los Angeles and I wanted to surprise Harry.

"Oh come on, just let me pay," Harry pleads.

"No way, it's your birthday, I'm paying," I assure him.

Little did I know, the tickets were going to be a lot more expensive than I thought.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know they were going to be that expensive," I apologize.

"It's okay, babe, I have an idea." He guided me over to a chain link fence.

"Harry, what're you doing?" I ask curiously.

"We're getting in to that concert." He hoists me up and I grab the top of the fence and make my way over. He follows me and we run to where the concert is being held.