Journal(ish) writing [aka i write crap, you get to be nosey]

9/24/14

Have you ever had one of those days where you just need to write? You need to write to get feeling out in a way that others can understand? This is one of those times. I guess you can call this a journal entry except you can all read. You get a glimpse into my personal life i guess. So here i go...

Recently my life has taken turn for the worse. Actually my life took a free fall from an air plane and slammed against a hard pavement covered in spikes and wolves waiting to pick away every last drop of life left in me. That is my life right now.

Today has been the worst of all. Today i had to leave someone very important to me for a very very long time. I might not ever be able to talk to him again. He means the world to me and i trust him and love him a lot. Due to us living so far apart, my parents don't trust him and forbid me to speak with him again. I now have no contact with him. I do have many things i cherish now because of him. I know that every time i listen to an Oasis song ill think of him, the phrase "i chicken you" will mean more to me than "i love you" ever will, and his songs he played on the piano (especially the one he wrote for me) will always play in my head. I don't regret any of our long chats and all the times i cried when he told me how much i meant to him when i was feeling so depressed. I will never regret the times when the storms rolled in and i was so afraid and he comforted me till they were gone. I will always remember his face, his voice, and the way we both geeked out over films. So if you couldn't tell already, i miss him more than i've missed anyone or anything in a very very long time.

It's a time like this when i really wish i could speak with him and find his comfort. Recently i had an event happen. I pretty much lost control of myself for a moment and took out all my stress immediate stress on myself. This caused immediate alert in my family and of course I'm not allowed to have any sharp objects in my room. I'm not trusted now and due to grades i'm also grounded....yaaay....go life...

Anyway, that is all i really feel like i can write without giving you all of my recent life stories.

I only have one more thing to say to conclude this little "journal entry".

I chicken you

<3