heya... how you guys holdin up? im gonna say some things that nobody ever gets. or it may even make me sound psychotic. idk, just bear with me. so, you know about matison and i dating... she broke up with me and lived in hell for 3 days... we got back together... she broke up with me again a week after. ive now been single for almost a month. im not complaining about being single, but shes all i had. im losing people left and right. im always hurting. im not afraid to take responsibility for my emotions... but gosh dammit, shes the reason i feel this way. i love her so f***ing much, she doesnt even know it. i want to feel her lips against mine... just hold her one last time before she let go. it so hard to see her so happy without me. i close my eyes... and thats what a world without her is like. she was my light, my joy, my everything...
brody is going through a rough time to... his girlfriend kinda broke up with him and said that theyd get back together, and she's acting shady. idk the deal, i will let him explain... but brody i literally love you so freaking much... before i move farther away you need to talk to me... time is limited.
i hate to admit that i still lover her... but i do. hannah has been flirting with me lately... and i cant focus on that... idek who i am let alone pay attention to someone else...
brody... im a pussy... im a coward... im whatever you wanna call me. the truth is... im scared. im f***ing scared that one of these days one of us is gonna wake up and the other one isnt there for them. im scared to love someone. im afraid that if i put all my time and effort that they aint gonna let me down slowly... its gonna hurt really bad once you get attached... people leave. rn i dont wanna be here... but i am because ik if i woke up in the morning and knew i could never see brody again... i wouldnt be alive, weve done so much together and have completed eachothers lives.
i love you sooo much
-Nathan Boyher
