Waiting.

Six

I was right. In the morning, I felt a bit light headed but, it was really nice. When I got downstairs, I hurried to the kitchen, hoping I could still catch her. Instead, there was a note on the fridge:

Send me a message if you decide to leave.

I didn't dare wake you up. I prepared breakfast. 

This made me smile and eat everything on the table, without leaving a crumb. I washed the plates and thought I really did miss mom. I wondered what I felt like doing next, so I walked by the living room, just staring at everything until I saw dad's photo. He was smiling like the great father he was holding up a huge tuna. This crazy old man. Right.

I went upstairs, changed, and grabbed my phone and wallet. I grabbed my car keys from my desk and took my car out. I bought some flowers and a box of pizza before heading out to the cemetery.

Before I got down my FJ, I just stared at the encrypted words on his grave.

Dominic James D. Callaway

"In life, we thrive. In death, we find"

A tear rolled down, I didn't even want to be emotional now. I knew he'd just hit me in the head and tell me I'm a stupid pussy. Dad always reminded me of how I was never enough. It struck me how I didn't even try to be and regret it. 

I got out, put the flowers on his grave and sat down on the grass, opening the box of pizza.

"Hey dad. Nice weather, huh?" I chuckled, right now, he'd be saying 'Hell, boy! It's the perfect weather to go fishing!'. I just laughed at the thought. "Long time, huh?" I smiled. 

'Pretty sure is, son' I could just imagine how his brown eyes would stare me down like there won't be tomorrow.

"Well, I've missed you too. And I'm gonna stay here until you're sated of this" I pointed to all of me. I tried my best to lighten up my own mood by talking to an epitaph. I am such a sentimental pussy. Damn it, dad. If only you were here.

'Well look at this! Little AJ has got lady problems! Son, it's too soon to grow up!' he'd laugh at how thick skulled I was. He'd tell his friends he never  gets anything in it. 'He's a real pain in the neck. A stubborn kid'. Somehow I got used to dad. I wanted to prove him wrong but I wanted to see until where his patience would go. Dad always knew if it was time to make me strong, time to make me think or when it was time I needed advice. I would never find a reason not to like him. 

I knew speaking to a grave looked real pathetic, but I needed my dad.

I started to eat the pizza. "I'm gonna be quarterback next month!" I cheered for myself, imagining him holding out a mug of beer and offering a toast for such a small mock of victory.

"It's stupid, right? Last year, MVP of the basketbal team" I started with imitating the voice of an anouncer. "Then, best striker of the soccer team~!" with the voice of a squealing cheerleader. I laughed at myself, thinking again about how pathetic I looked.

'Do your old man a favor, boy. Take care of your mother' one of the last sentences he said to me. I could never forget them. "Well, mom's barely home. She's too busy" I said.

'Find yourself some other girl, you rascal! That Cassidy kid will never be yours!' he used to tell me. I was highly motivated by this that I went out to prove him wrong and failed again. "Camille? Well, she's a lot different now. It's bothering me.. but I bet I have a better chance at her now than before. Heck, look at me!" I made out a pose showing my biceps. 

'But you're not enough' his very last words rang throughmy head like bells echoing in the halls. It stung me like crazy. 

I lay down on the grass, muching on the next slice of pizza, "you know how long I've loved the girl, dad. You know I still do. She'll always be a part of me, no matter what". "She won't love me. She's holding back. I don't get it. She won't love me the way I love her" I ended, sighing heavily. It felt like a huge burden on my chest just got out.

I spent the entire day like that, on the grass with dad. Like we had all the time in the world to catch up, spill the beans on every juicy little secret. Made me miss all that he was, with the thick husky voice and Texas accent. He seemed too perfect in every single way.

"I wish you'd really be here and tell me something I haven't heard before. Some punch line that would seriously hit me in the balls" I chuckled.

"Sure he would, he just couldn't get it in that thick skull of yours" mom's voice said from behind me. I sat up and saw her there, quite shocked at how she found me. "You're my son, Andre James. I would always know where you are" she shrugged. "It's about 6:30 and I think it's best we get home now" she added.

"Mom, how did you..?"

"Instinct. Mother's instinct. We all have it" she cut me off.

"What do you think he would tell me right now?" I asked, now serious.

"You're not enough" she spat. "You keep on acting like you don't know your father at all" she shook her head, trying to smile.

I shrugged, trying to laugh "You have no idea how many times he said that".

_____________________________________________________________________________

AIGHT. After about four long hours of goolge-ing my Camille Cassidy, I finally found the perfect match. Although her hair is not curly, we bring her in the picture. She's the closest I can get. So the photo is seriously not mine, of course. And I'm just enjoying the fact that I finally did find her. :D