CTRL; ALT & HER

Sense of belonging: Almost like a movie

Present (08/12/2018)

There are those days when we just miss that one person or those when you simply miss the person you were with someone. Sometimes I wonder, do we fall in love for someone or do we fall in love for the way they make us feel?

I guess you can fight back that if we would only fall in love for the way someone makes us feel, we would never fall in love for those who aren't kind or those who make us feel like we won't be enough unless we change something. But... What is more romantic that a broken heart? I trust everyone knows that one person who keeps chasing the love of her life. That person that feels like every person is IT and so every person breaks her heart like no one else did before. I don't meant to be sexist when I only refer to her, but the people I can remember are all females. I am although certain that man feel just the same way, don't need to start fighting against me now. Anyway, we all fall in love... Do you really think we can only have one great love in our lives?

I am at home, in my room. Sitting on my desk with Spotify as the day soundtrack. I could be one of those star movie characters. The bed, which strangely leaves inside of my wardrobe is waiting to be done. All my three blankets are in the end of the bed inviting me in and I am strongly resisting it.

She is now in her house with her husband and her friends. They are hosting a party for this cute 1 year old gentleman. The leaving room is full of white and blue decorations hanging from the walls and selling. It's almost like they hired a catering company to do it, but instead, she did it all on her own. She is amazing isn't she? I can now imagine the noise there. The weather is British grey with predictable cold rain promising only indoor activities. I can truly see her laughing loudly, moving from conversation to conversation. I am also certain she will be picking up the baby doll in every opportunity she has. She loves him. Should you see him and you would feel just the same. He has this face that scientist should study. There is something in is big expressive eyes that is simply enchanting. I am sure she will be the one giving him all sorts of different advises and tips to picking up girls, when he will be old enough for it of course, she is not that insane. I swear, but I am at home and I wonder... Will I ever be part of that? Will I ever...

Present (10/12/2018)

Quick note to the reader

I guess this all seems to you like I am talking in riddles. Please let me advise you now that the way you feel is probably the closest you will ever feel to who I am. The difference between us is that this is my life. I understand if you will need to tap out. Is not an easy reading, but this is my Journey and if you already had enough of intricacy and puzzling than don't waste your time. Nothing in this story is obvious as it probably should.

If you are looking for a soothing bed time story, this isn't it.