Hello

H

Is this what iv really come to? Well I guess this is the only way I'll be happy... if this isnt the answer then i dont know what is!

It was all going so well...

Where do I begin? My mother tragically died in a car crash three months ago; though this may seem horrid to you it's not to me. See my mother never really cared about me; she only cared about her endless stream of partners.

At the time of the accident she was engaged to Mike; therefore, now, he's my legal guardian.

Mike is know for drinking large quantities of alcohol, and on that day, he had just got home from our local pub and he was of course, smashed.

He was short and fat; ugly and smelly.

I sat in my room slowly writing out an essay. When he stormed in.

"OI LILY"

I looked up at him. At the time i figured all he would want is dinner, beer and cigarettes... but I was wrong.

He slowly blinked and awaited my answer.

"Yes Mike?"

"D...DONT CALL ME MER..MIKE. CALL ME DADDY" he demanded.

Perplexed, i slowly made eye contact with him. Where was he going with this?

"But why should I? Since when are you my father?"

He slurred his words as he spoke.

"I..M.M NOT TELLIN' YOU TO CALL ME FATHER. I SAID DADDY. DID YOU HEAR ME CHILD?"

I timidly answered "Yes.... daddy?"

"GOOD. NOW COME HERE. IV GOT A LITTLE JOB FOR YOU. I WANT YOU TO CLOSE YOUR EYES AND..."

"No!! Please! Not again! I don't want to!"

Now by the time I'd started begging to be left alone he'd already begun the sexual abuse... He used drugs and my body would become numb so i couldn't move it. I am small and what some would describe skinny so i couldn't overpower him.

Why didn't I tell somebody? Who would i tell? Nobody gives one about me.

This was the first time of many he would do this to me. Night after night, day after day; a piece within me withered away and died. It felt sempiternal. I felt that my life couldn't get worse... but it did.