Funeral

Funeral (Part One)

One can not keep everything as they are. Our life is too long to settle in one thing. Even with your strong feelings and determination, you can not help but say your wish and goodbye. The state of bittersweet.

We have been dating for almost two years to date. We may not be a perfect couple but our feelings are strong. Our I love you are true, not a hint of lies can be seen nor heard and even if we forgot to say it at times, our action speaks it. I can not think a thing that says otherwise for we understand each other and mature enough not to make a big fit about it. We have great compatibility and we like the same thing. Even the smallest thing that I like, he also likes. He's always there for me when I need comfort and not. He understands me more than myself and it makes me scared and happy. We fought sometimes but it won't last long. We only need to talk about it and make thing clear for us.

I am happy and satisfied and he is also. I feel complete with him. My days are complete with him. The simple Hi and Good morning are all it takes to make my day. Our relationship is alive. Its breathing and will not wither easily. Our foundation is strong enough to crumble. We just love each other too much and that's all it matters.

Or so I thought.

I didn't believe at first. My mind can't function and fathom what was happening. It was one of the days when I tried logging into his messenger account. It so not me to check his chats and conversation because I respect his privacy and I trust him with my all. I was scanning through the list of his recent conversation when my eyes notice one particular name. I know that name very well. He spoke about her when he is still courting me. She is his friend in High School and a close one but when we started dating, he stops mentioning her name so I didn't bother about it. At first, all I think is that their conversation only composes of them asking each other how they are and what's news about their life. I do not know what pushed me to read their conversation that day but I did.

I asked him how could this be true. Why did he do that to me? He tries to explain but my anger and disappointed is too strong to comprehend what he's saying. I left him that day to cool my head down. I can't believe of all people, she is his friend. I'm not only upset about him but also his friend. I can not believe that thing exists and worst, with my boyfriend and his friend. She knows that I am dating him, I mean we have mutual friends and even if she's not part of my circle, she must have heard it somewhere.

I avoided him for almost 2 weeks. All I did was think about our situation and the effect of our it to our relationship. I miss him so much, it was the longest time we didn't talk but I was too upset to submit. I want answers to my confusion and I can only get it from him. I called him the night of the 2 weeks of me avoiding him and ask for a talk. I can still remember how his voice sounds, I can taste his pain, regret, and hope from his voice over the phone. 'He must be regretting what he did' is what I think but I'm not sure.

We talk at the cafe near my house and he explained everything. What he said only fuel my confusion. If he didn't mean to do that then he should have stayed away from her the moment she showed him interest, knowing that I am dating him. But all he answered is its the temptation and their past relationship that keeps him not to avoid her. He asks for his forgiveness and I accept it. I suggest that we forget what happened and for him to cut ties with the girl, and he did. I know I should further ask him everything but I didn't want this thing to ruin our relationship. Us. We are too precious for me to end everything.