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"I think we've done it wrong" gulped Narcissia. Looking at the human corpse that now lay on the lifeless cement, she added,
"Such a shame. A potential survivor gone to waste like that". Narcissia finished her sentence with a sigh, looking at the grisly remains.
"You're right. One bullet wasted on the wrong target. Thank goodness we have this", Claudine beamed while pulling out a small box from her pocket. She did not sound like someone who had just murdered one of the few remaining humans on the Earth.
Narcissia threw her last stone at a pigeon that had come too close for comfort. For a change, she didn't miss. 'Twas indeed a miracle. The abomination's mouldy feathers made a delicious crunching sound as its rancid-smelling blood coloured the ground. Gelatinous, deformed spinal fluid oozed from its broken skull.
"Anyway, what is that box, Clau?" asked Narcissia, her words cold and emotionless as usual.
"A time machine, Nar".
"Then why the selfiedrop did you not tell me about it earlier?! You could've saved us a lot of trouble. And by a lot, I mean A FLICKING LOT!" ranted an unsatisfied Nar.
"Because it fell out of the dead guy's pocket, duh". Clau shrugged.
"THEN HOW THE CRINGESNAIL DO YOU KNOW IT'S A TIME MACHINE,YOU MORON! YOU'RE THE WORST BEST FRIEND AN AVERAGE PERSON COULD HAVE!"
"Wow, someone's cranky... and Nar, in case you don't remember, the late Doctor Weinerschintzel had one exactly like this".
"Yeah, I remember now". Nar did her best to sound calm. It didn't work. Clau's left eyebrow raised itself. Since they became friends, Nar knew the left eyebrow signal meant there was no going back. The only way was travelling in time to fix the mess.
"Ready?" grumbled Clau.
"Ready".
Along with Claudine, Narcissia placed her pinky finger in one of the box's holes. In a most epic fashion, Clau beamed,
"Take us to 2015, the year it all happened".
Nothing happened.
"Great", muttered Nar.
"Wait, wait..." Claudine stuttered slightly as she pressed a nearly-invisible button at the bottom of the time machine.
This time, as Clau repeated her magic words, the tiny contraption began to emit tacky crackling sounds.
"Clau, you must be ki-"
Before the grumpy Nar could complete another rambling, the girls were already going back in time. Lights, some colourless, others desaturated, enveloped the two souls. Immediately, they began to spin at insane speeds, with their pinkies still in the machine. Along with the lights, there was no short of assorted sounds.
Irritating and non-irritating pop music played, while off-key violins and screeching opera singers belted out their tunes.
"I thought time travelling would be awesome, not this tacky crap", sighed Nar, as expected.
"Shut up. Can't you hear my favourite song in the background?"
"Not that one..." muttered Nar under her breath.
With the same spontaneity that they travelled into time, their journey ended. And of course, with loud, unnecessary onomatopoeia and in the middle of a crowd.
"I think we landed among a bunch of insane humans. More precisely, pre-Columbidaean adolescent females..." sighed Nar, with her typical sarcastic glare.
"And even worse; in what seems to be a 'band concert'", she added.
"I believe these specimens are often referred to as fangirls. Doctor Weinerschnitzel said their brains appeared to function differently from regular humans and some seemed to be capable of telepathy", explained Claudine.
While they conversed, screams of "Crindleflump! Crindlefump!" came from all directions. Nobody was safe.
She was about to give an insight as to why fangirls had become extinct when she was kicked. More specifically, kicked in certain regions which might as well be omitted. To rub salt into the wounds, by a raging fangirl with frizzy hair.
Like any regular person would do, Clau confronted her attacker.
"How dare you kick me! Asking for a fight?"
The attacker snarled,
"You got in my way when I was going to take a photo of Crindleflump and you are going to pay!"
Claudine smirked and cracked her knuckles.
"Bring it on".
Nar gritted her teeth. She knew it would be trouble, especially for the fangirl.
"That girl has no idea who she's messing with", she whispered to Clau.
As the band began to play its [terrible] music, karate chops and kicks flew from each of the opposing sides. The random girl suddenly grabbed Claudine's hair, and pinned her to the floor. Before the attacker could do anything, however, Clau used her special attack: the ultimate, legendary KNEE-IN-THE-CROTCH!
It was effective, and left the attacker howling in pain.
"Now, we run" squealed Nar, grabbing her friend by the arm as they ran from any chance of danger.
"Come to think of it, that girl looked like my mum when she was around that age..." sighed Claudine.
"Congratulations, you are one of the few, if not the only people who can say they kneed their mother in the crotch at a tacky band's concert." complained Narcissia, once again in her sarcastic tone.
Nar bumped into something soft, and their attempt to run away halted in its tracks.
"Uh oh..." came Nar's squeaky voice, this time more timid-sounding. Darn it. They had bumped into a guy.
"I-it's okay..." said the recently bumped-into human.
The little accident did not prevent the duo from running away. While running, Claudine briefly commented,
"And that guy looks uncannily like my dad."
"And?" questioned Nar.
"My parents told me they had met for the first time at a Crindleflump concert..." said Clau guiltily.
"Wonderful. Now you're able to say you time-travelled, kneed your mum in the crotch and bumped into the teenage version of your dad in one day. One frigging day."
Clau could hint the jealousy coming from Narcissia.
"Let's just hope we didn't change the past for worse", she said shyly.
"Speaking of the past, we have to stop the Columbidaean era from taking place. And that, my friend, means wiping out the existence of the zombie pigeons", Narcissia affirmed.
"Exactly."
The two girls were now on their mission.
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