im not ok
i feel so scattered
don't say i'm all that matters
leave me, déjà vu
~*~
She sees him still,
now and then,
when she shouldn't,
When it's really not all that convenient
Couldn't you have waited until after dinner?
just when she thinks her world might actually not collapse,
when that little spark of maybe starts to try and claw its way out of whatever dark corner it is her sanity has been shoved into
He's there, around every corner, under every rock, behind every shut of her eyelids
It's not normal
she's heard that more than just a couple times
Are you sure she's ok?
Sometimes from the darkness of her room when they think she could be sleeping
And she can almost hear her mother's thoughts now, blinking back at her, watching as she carefully studies what remains of her daughter from the other end of the dinner table
She'll burn a hole through your forehead comes the little voice in her head
if she keeps gawking at you like that
She pulls together a smile, lopsided on her face and even that doesn't seem right--normal
She tries to think back to a time when things were different
normal
But her mind, tired and restless and wrapped up in a dream...
it's just...
blank
You gave it to him comes another voice, a different one, one that sounds more like an echo than an actual coherent thought
no wonder its missing
It settles there, like a scream unable to escape its own oscillations
You gave it to him
No wonder its missing
You gave it to him-
"Sanem?"
Its her father's voice, pulling her away from the hollow vibrations
Her food is cold and his eyes are so blue
She meets his gaze, though it wobbles after only just a moment
She wishes she could offer him something more
You gave it to him
He took all of it
But her stare is brimming of emptiness
YOU ARE READING
before I go
Fanfiction'You gave it to him' comes another voice, a different one, one that sounds more like an echo than an actual coherent thought 'no wonder its missing'
