"How have you been these past five years, Haku?" She inquired.
"Fine. I travelled around with Zabuza-sensei for a while, just wandering around with no clear destination in mind. It was fun, being so carefree. How about you?"
"I walked for a while in the direction I assumed Konoha was, about 3 months before I realized I was going in the wrong direction, so I'm just going to point out right here and now that you probably had a hell of a better time than I did."
"Sounds like fun."
"Bitch the fuck? You learned what sarcasm was? This the motherfucking tea. I purble you."
"This the motherfucking tea? Bitch, please, Bethany. By the way, Bethany, are you coming to my tea party? Bethany, I made biscuits!"
"MY MOTHERFUCKING KAMI - mission: taint Haku and bring him into memedom. Status: Completed. Mission passed, respect +."
°°°
"Akari, you can't have a royal flush consisting of the 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9 of spades when I have the 5, 8, and 9 of spades. How the fuck do you have those cards?" Sasuke asked, done putting up with Akari's shit.
"Bitch, please, it's anime."
"...what?"
"Ignore everything I just said."
"Wait, we're in an anime?"
"Oh, look at the time on the nonexistent clock! I have to go do some random shit I don't give a damn about!"
"Wait for just a motherfucking minu-"
"Ja ne!"
°°°
"Rock, paper, scissors!" Akari and Naruto simultaneously said.
Naruto used Paper! It had no effect.
Akari used Middle Finger! It was super effective!
Naruto has run out of HP!
Akari has won the match!
+100 ryo, +1 free lunch!
"Damnit," Naruto muttered.
°°°
"Oh, you're not done Icha Icha: One-shot edition? You know, in the end, Mika decides to-" Akari was interrupted by a panicked Kakashi.
"No spoilers! NO FUCKING SPOILERS!"
"But the ending's so good since there's a huge hint for the rest of the series concerning-"
"I SAID NO GODAMN FUCKING SPOILERS YOU UNCOUTH WENCH!"
"Hey, no swearing in me Christian Minecraft server."
"Damn hypocrite."
°°°
"Holy shit I just the brightest fucking thing in my life. I might go blind." Akari dramatically exclaimed.
"What is it?" Sakura asked.
"Your hair."
"Bitch."
"Takes one to know one."
"That quote isn't yours."
"No u. Gotee."
"Wut?"
°°°
"Ne, Zabuza." Akari sald, poking said man's arm.
"What, brat?
"If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim through the land?"
"Ask Jesus."
"If Jesus could walk on water, was he a ninja?"
"Jesus."
"Right," Akari agreed, "Jesus is always the answer."
"I taught you well."
"Bitch you didn't teach me shit."
"Debatable."
"I haven't seen you in 5 years. You couldn't have taught me anythin'. Case closed."
"Oof."
"Big oof."
°°°
"Your bitchass reader here has an ongoing case of writer's block. Send help." Itachi read aloud.
"If anyone has any ideas or story inspiration, please DM author-san or write it in the comments," Akari said, eating dango.
"Isn't that my dango?"
"Yes."
Itachi could only sigh.
YOU ARE READING
Goodbye
Fanfiction(A Naruto Fanfic) Red. That was all she could see. Blood. So much...blood... Her hands were coated in blood. Her parents were lying in a pool of blood. The katana that belonged to the murderer of her parents was slick with blood. Blood...everywhere...
