bit tongues and bitter tongues

entity

louis couldn't remember a time before harry. he knows there was one, a long while ago, that lasted nearly two years, but louis doesn't think he actually started living until the day when anne, who lived in the house beside louis and his mother's, brought a tiny bundle of baby and blue into her home and louis' life. since louis, a measly toddler, had yet to recognise the importance of his new neighbour's presence, it was johanna's job to describe the time louis and harry first met (seeing as it was the moment her son's life changed dramatically). jay often said it was love at first sight: louis had been sitting on the porch of their two story family-style house when the car had arrived, and he had taken an odd interest in the baby (she claimed it was odd since louis had always found it difficult to concentrate on just one single thing). now, at age 10, and far too old to believe in such silly things as "fate" and "soulmates", louis simply laughs whenever his mother says such nonsense, but, though he'd never admit it to anyone but harry, he kind of does believe her. he knows that he and harry were meant to meet. he guesses he's known for as long as he can remember. if he strains his memory, he thinks he can vaguely picture a younger, smaller version of himself, perhaps five or six years of age, whispering the exact words in harry's ear sometime during the late hours of summer darkness. they had decided to spend the night in harry's room, since gemma was at summer camp while both charlotte and felicite had chosen to remain home. louis had just sneaked out of his pile of blankets on the floor and under harry's warm duvet a few moments prior, concealed by the secrecy of the pale light of the moon that traipsed in through the windows and designed an intricate pattern of silhouettes and profiles on the carpeted floor. both anne and jay, and to be honest, everyone else in both houses, were aware of the sleeping arrangement tendencies the boys shared every night, but the two children still waited until everyone else was fast asleep before snuggling together. after louis had stated his thoughts, they had snuggled, and had slept together in as innocent a way as one can interpret from the phrase.

louis knows they were meant to be together because of harry's condition. that was the word the adults used for it, but louis hates it. "condition" creates the stupid illusion that harry is different and weird, and maybe even a freak, but louis knows better. he calls it harry's preference, and he knows that technically it isn't one, since harry can't control it, but it still sounds much nicer and under control than clinically correct or scientifically compliant terms. it's harry's preference, and louis knows that harry likes louis to call it that. see, the thing is, harry can't speak. he's tried and he's attempted, louis knows because harry told him (nonverbally, of course), and in all 8 long years of his life, he has never uttered a single word. it used to bother anne, but she's grown accustomed to it and louis thinks it's beautiful. actually, louis thinks harry's beautiful, but since this nonspeaking thing is a part of harry, louis loves it too. maybe not love, since louis knows that sounds like a weird word to use to describe another boy, but he does appreciate it. ok, to be perfectly honest, louis maybe kind of definitely does love harry. or, harry's preference. or, harry and everything harry. he loves the way harry's eyes get when they connect with louis', he loves the smirk that spreads itself across harry's lips when louis makes a fool out of himself, and he loves the way harry's hair flops onto his forehead when he falls asleep on louis' chest. he's kind of maybe definitely head over heels for the dork, and he knows that technically harry's never agreed, but he know that harry unconsciously feels the same. see, he knows harry. not like how anne knows harry, or how dr. tatem, harry's therapist, knows harry. louis actually knows harry. he knows the exact shade of greenish golden harry's eyes turn in the summer, knows the pale of his skin in the winter, hell, louis even knows the placement of the freckle on harry's cheek, right next to one of his stupidly adorable dimples. anne knows harry in a way where she can guess what ice cream flavour he wants and get it right 99% of the time. she knows his favourite colour, his facial expressions, and how much he hates math. dr. tatem knows harry where he can guess how he's feeling just from the "vibe" he gives off (louis thinks it sounds kinda weird, but he knows that harry likes dr. tatem and he also knows that he likes whoever harry likes). sometimes, dr. tatem knows harry well enough to let louis join the sessions they have, because that's what harry needs. but louis, louis knows harry in a completely different way. he knows exactly what harry's thinking all of the time, and he knows when harry needs words of encouragement and when he needs silence. he knows harry's favourite song, his favourite sound, his favourite person (louis, obviously), and even his favourite day of the week. louis knows harry better than harry knows himself, and vice versa. so, when louis sometimes maybe definitely admits that louisandharry are meant to be, harry knows he means it. and louis knows that harry agrees.