Bones~Different stories

Regrets

The lights coming towards me. As if time stopped there I thought I might have enough time to jump out of the way but then again what's the point? The one thing I want in life is out of my reach forever he loves her. And he's over me. I smile in satisfaction of being able to spend the last 7 years getting to know him. The lights are a lot closer when I next think about them. He can't know I want him he will not know. I close my eyes as if I was waiting for the car too hit me. That's when I felt a strong arm wrap round me and pull me out of the road. I look up "Booth what are you doing here?"
"I don't know following you to a bad part of town and saving your life you know the usual? What are you doing"
"It was an accident she was here begging the family to donate the organs when they said no she walked out without looking she hit her head on the reflectors on the floor the one I was looking at I just didn't see the car. I didn't notice."
"Hey let's just get you home?" I nod. We get in his car and 10 minutes away from my apartment I stop the silence. "Booth I can get out and walk from here."
"I'm driving you home"
"I'm capable for walking."
"Capable you almost got hit by a car because you didn't notice! I'm driving you home." I didn't want to lie to him I was too tired think of a lie
"Booth I did see the car." A tear rolled down my face. But he didn't notice so I wiped it away
"What- what do you mean?"
"I saw the car I decided I didn't want to carry on and worked out that the car would most likely-"
"Stop. Just stop." He pulled over. He turned to me. "You saw the car? And was just going to let it hit you? You know that the car was speeding so would have killed you!" A tear fell from his face too. "Why? Why didn't you try to move?"
"I don't want to live with regrets."
"So instead of just figuring out how to sort your regrets out and doing something about it you decided just not living would be a better idea?" His eyes were filled with tears I could see them.
"Booth don't cry. I just don't know how to get rid of regrets and it's not like I did it on purpose I just didn't do anything"
"Bones. Help me help you. What regrets do you have that we can solve soon so that you won't feel this way?"
"I can't tell you." I turned to look out my window.
"Temperance tell me you can trust me. Or tell me why you can't tell me" his voice was begging another tear or two fell.
"I can't tell you because." I looked at him tears rolling down my face now unable to hide them. "Because you're with Hannah! Because there was a time for it and now isn't a good time. It will never be again. You love her. And I lo- and I'm not her." I stopped myself from telling him I love him but I think he might have heard it. As his jaw dropped. Speechless we sat in silence for another minute or so. "Bones I don't know what to say. I think you need to get some help." I laughed "no tempe I'm serious you shouldn't have just sat there your reflexes should have kicked in at least trying to get out the way then you make this speech about how you can't tell me one of your regrets because I'm with Hannah and you're not her but bones I'm glad you're not bones not because I'm with her but because you are the one for me. It's just. I don't know."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."
"Temperance you need to be safer. I can't lose you. I don't know what I'd do. I don't think i could live without you."
"Booth I'm sorry the last thing I want to do is hurt you."
"I'm taking you home." I feel awful I shouldn't have said anything I just thought that he'd understand. Thought that he could realise that I'm in a great deal of pain and couldn't get the process of moving to save my life into action. But he is just hurting now and that makes me feel even worse. I stay silent while he starts up his car and drives a while later we arrive at my apartment. "I'm staying here tonight we can have a few drinks and talk."
"Booth that isn't necessary." I paused "Hannah's probably worried."
"It sounds awful but she isn't my priority right now Temperance." He gets out. I guess he's staying at mine. I get out too. "Booth you don't have to stay." He sighs walking round his car to me "let's just get you inside we can talk there and you can tell me how I don't have to stay and I can tell you that I'm not listening and I'm staying anyway." He puts his hand on the lower part of my back and pushes me in the direction of my apartment.
"Booth-"
"Temperance I'm staying okay. You're going through something and you need your person."
"You're not my person."
"So why am I here refusing to leave being here walking up to your front door about to make sure you talk it out then going to make sure you sleep. And make sure in the morning you have a filling breakfast."
"Fine. But you're really not needed here I'm just going to drink way too much and go to bed."
"You can have company." There was an awkward silence "with the drinking I mean."
"Of course the drinking." I open the door and he leads me inside. "What do you want to drink?" He walks into the living room
"Whatever you're having" I go to the kitchen as he sits on the sofa. I grab 2 glasses and a bottle and a half of scotch. I'm going to need it. Walk into the living room and he's on the sofa waiting for me I go and sit next to him. I pour our drinks out and just wait for him to say something. To say anything. After a couple minutes passed. I had finished a glass almost two before anything was said.
"I'm sorry tempe. I just don't understand why you didn't move."
"I thought I wouldn't have time so what's the point? It was like time stopped but it was like I also couldn't move and I just sat there and thought I'd lost what I wanted the most and there's no chance getting it so I might as well have just not tried. And then you saved me."
"You haven't lost me Temperance." He finished his first glass and I finished my second. I started to pour the next one now.
"I- I didn't say it was you."
"You implied it in the car and now we're sitting here you're quite clearly trying to get drunk so you don't remember what we talk about tonight."
"Booth I don't want to say anything because I know I'll regret it and that's the last thing I need right now. More regrets" I take a bit of my drink. "How about you say it and I'll tell you how I feel and then you can decide if you regret it. You base things on evidence right you have no evidence you'll regret it." We down our drinks in unison he filled them up this time and I spoke. Once he finished he turns to look at me. And places his arm on the back of the sofa.
"I got the sign booth I don't want to have regrets. I got the sign I know what my biggest regret is. It's saying no. Outside the FBI building. I'm sorry. I knew I wanted you but I was scared over getting into a relationship. I was scared that I'd fuck up and you'd leave me both personally and professionally. I regret not telling you how I felt. How I feel"
"Temperance brennan you are the most stunning remarkable maddening challenging frustrating person I've ever met. And nothing has changed about the way I feel about you. I needed to get over you which obviously didn't work because I'm sitting here with you while my girlfriend is sitting in my apartment probably waiting up for me. She's great and beautiful but bones you're perfect." I stare at him not really knowing what to say he has a girlfriend. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that."
"No Seeley I'm glad you did. I feel like this is good. But I don't want to be the reason you and Hannah break up. Because she's my friend and your my I don't know you're my partner."
"I'm you're person." I notice now how close we are not emotionally but physically. There's only a few inches between our faces and he leans closer as he said that
"You're my person." I smile and he kisses me. I kiss him back and then push him away. "Hannah" I say because I don't think of anything else to say. "I know you don't be the reason we break up but whatever happens you are the best reason for me" he kisses me again. This time I pull away straight away.
"No, you're still with her Seeley. I can't be the one who makes you a cheater." He nods
"I don't want to start us off with a untrustworthy action so you're right we can just sit and drink. Talk about other things then you can go to sleep and I'll make breakfast in the morning."
"You should probably go home talk this out with Hannah find a conclusion then we can talk tomorrow we have already drunk enough."
"How about we have another drink I can't drive anyway. So might as well stay. But after another drink or two we should get some sleep. And then tomorrow when I go home to get changed for work I'll talk to her. Sound good?"
"Sounds good." I drink a bit of my drink.
"If we're gonna be anything you need to talk to me before you go sitting in front of cars or any moving vehicles. Okay? Because I'm not losing not you I couldn't survive before but now everything can be different. We can be something when you're ready." I finish another glass now opening a new bottle and pouring another drink after a couple of minutes I know what to say.
"You need to stop saying we can be something because you might go home tomorrow and realise what a mistake it was telling me this and not end your relationship with Hannah and decide you want to stay with her."
"You're right I should go home." I sit in silence I should have known this was too good to be true. "I should go talk to her now. I can't concentrate here I just keep thinking about kissing you. I'll come back. Let me go to my apartment talk to her and I'll come back tell you how it went and then you kiss me."
"Are you sure? Like are you sure you want to end your relationship over something I am very bad at. Are you sure you want to break up with her for me? I'm not at personal as she is. I'm kind of a cold fish as I've been told."
"Temperance I know you I know who you are you are not a cold fish. The people who call you a cold fish they don't know you. They haven't tried to get to know you. I have the privilege of knowing you and let me tell you now. You are not a cold fish." When he calls me Temperance I just melt. I know it's my name but the way he says it with so much meaning behind so much care it's the best thing I have heard today. "Booth what I'm saying is you and Hannah are good. Do you really want to throw that away for me?" We are sitting staring into each others eyes.
"Me and Hannah are good yes, but me and you bones. We could be great. We will be great. I'm sure about this. I'm sure about you more sure than I have been about anything in my life I couldn't imagine something better I don't want to. You're the most beautiful smart funny person I have ever known and I don't even want to look for someone else because I am certain there isn't anyone better."
"Booth you're saying all these things that are making me not want to just sit next to you so you should go. And talk to me tomorrow."
"I'll go but I'll be back as soon as I can be. I promise when I finish my talk with hannah I will be right here. I'm gonna get a cab straight here. I'm not going anywhere after that." He gets up and I follow. We walk to the door and he opens the door "I will see you soon." I smile at him then he walks away. I go sit on the sofa looking at an empty bottle and a bottle that is almost half empty. And wonder just what happened moments ago. Was it all a dream? I check the time 11:30 so I lay on the sofa and drift to sleep still wearing my work clothes.