Will The Real Rachel Berry Please Stand Up?

5

Quinn spent her Sunday honing her distraction techniques. She kicked off the day with a long run around the park followed by a cold shower. Her mother was happy for them to skip church in order to travel to the nearby countryside for a long hike and a late lunch – neither were such devout Christians without her father's influence. Quinn had toyed with trying to talk to her mother about becoming slightly infatuated with someone but decided that the stress of keeping her pronouns gender neutral was too much and after all, her mother seemed generally miserable and unhappy with life so who was she to add to that? So they mostly hiked in silence occasionally giving each other sad half smiles and commenting only on the views. Quinn had arranged to hang out that evening with Brittany and Santana at Brittany's and she was beginning to regret that decision as the pair lay entangled with each other on the sofa interacting with her only in order to be passed drinks or snacks. Still it was very late when she finally returned home and her Rachel-centred musings had not filled her entire day. She managed to make it to bed avoiding the lure of the computer but her mind was still wide awake and abuzz with activity. Suddenly Rachel Berry sights and sounds swamped her brain– surely just a quick check on Rachel's Myspace wouldn't hurt? There were no new videos and no reply to her earlier comment .She laughed at her disappointment –what did she expect? Then in a moment of impulsiveness she logged in to add "Did I say amazing? I meant awesome" to Rachel's comments before returning to bed. Two anonymous compliments to undo years of name calling and slushy throwing ... who was she trying to kid? She lay on the bed trying to clear her thoughts by counting down from a thousand and when that wasn't distracting enough she repeated the activity again but in French. Saying Rachel in a French accent–sounded soooo much better than in English.

Everything was much clearer to Quinn in the early morning light of day. She needed to be closer to Rachel Berry if she was to cure herself of her unhealthy infatuation. The real Rachel couldn't possibly live up to her imaginary Rachel; surely no-one could kiss that long without asphyxiating- but, boy, what a dream that was! The only way to get to know the real Rachel was by befriending her; none of this observing from afar half-assed measures, just a straight forward bite- the-bullet offer of friendship. She smiled at herself in the bathroom mirror, now she was going to be in charge and take control of her feelings. Quinn Fabray, Captain of the Cheerios and most envied girl in the entire school. She put her hand on her hips and chose her most superior smirk. Time to bend Rachel 'No-Mates' Berry to her will and find out how little they had in common and how much Rachel's beauty faded in close proximity. She strode purposefully to her car feeling more in control of herself than she had for some time. Her initial objectives were clear; find Rachel Berry, extend a hand of friendship and then bring a sense of reality to her overheated imagination. Simple.

Except it wasn't simple. Locating Rachel was proving to be rather difficult; she was not in the auditorium, nor was she in the choir room and hanging out around her locker was beginning to garner Quinn strange looks. Surely Miss 100% attendance and punctuality wasn't going to ruin her record now? It was seconds before the bell was due to ring and Quinn was preparing to abandon her vigil when a fast moving ball of short skirt and animal sweater pushed past her, open and shut a locker with a vengeance and left at a sprint heading to a classroom in the opposite direction of Quinn's first lesson. Quinn wasn't even sure that her "Hi Rachel!" had even registered on Rachel's radar. Since Rachel had been travelling at the speed of light and her comment was only at the speed of sound maybe it would catch up with her before Chemistry? Now Chemistry –there was a thought. She could sit next to Rachel without upsetting the karma of the rest of the class and then she could charm Rachel into being her friend. Finally a fool proof idea and so totally within her capabilities. If she happened to bump into Rachel before then, well all the better.

Rachel took deep breaths to control her breathing as the lesson began – skin of her teeth and all that but after seeing the new comments on her Myspace page she just knew she needed to avoid Finn. Moving at high speed would surely confuse him as he'd have to think at that speed and thinking itself certainly wasn't one of his strengths. The use of the word 'awesome' in the new comments was a bit of a major clue to the writer's identity and the complete lack of comment on her actual singing was another. She had a very tiny bit of grudging respect for the fact he'd managed to set up a new account to send her messages with as he'd never come across as particularly computer savvy during their ill-fated and fortunately brief relationship. What a big mistake that was. Curiosity about being kissed had over ruled her common sense that was screaming warnings (and the occasional obscenity) at her – she'd had to work really hard at getting him to dump her. She thought the matching kitten calendars had been a master stroke however she'd underestimated the strength of teenage boy hormones. Rachel shuddered; this time she'd spare herself all that subterfuge and say no straight out – well he'd have to ask her first and with his attention span rivalling that of a goldfish she hoped some airheaded Cheerio would catch his attention before he cornered her. The list of people she needed to avoid was steadily lengthening – and hadn't Quinn been lurking near her locker (mercifully not holding any cups of slushy)? So what was she up to? Rachel paused and shook her head. No, she must have misheard. Quinn couldn't possibly have used her name, she wasn't even sure Quinn knew it. Ah Quinn; someone else to avoid.