Regrets

“No, you’re staying at home,” my mom said as I was going down the stairs. She was sitting at the couch with a magazine on her lap and her eyes had dark bags underneath. I hate seeing her like this; she looked awfully tired but I still assumed she was kidding since that’s what she always does.

I rolled my eyes and laughed. “Mom, I have no time for jokes. I’m already late for Lauren’s party,” I took a look at my watch. “It started an hour ago.”

My mom immediately blocked the door so I couldn’t pass. “I’m serious. Go back to your room.”

It was my best friend, Lauren’s 17th birthday and my mom knew about that too so I didn’t quite understand why she didn’t let me go. She has been my one and only friend ever since the third grade and I couldn’t miss her party; the first party she has ever thrown.

I raised my eyebrow. “But it’s Lau—”

“Just go back to your room.” she interrupted, looking straight into my eyes.

I sighed and stomped up the stairs. It’s probably her time of the month. I slammed the door shut when I reached my bedroom. I was raging with anger. So she’s just not going to let me go without giving me a reason? I don’t understand what’s happening. I was pacing back and forth in my room, not knowing what to do so I called Lauren.

“Hello?” Lauren answered with a deafening tone that made me bring my phone away from my ear.

“What am I supposed to do? My mom won’t let me go out.” I shouted at the phone, trying to beat the music blasting through the speakers in her party.

“Just sneak out.” Lauren giggled and hung up. She was probably drunk. And that was probably a horrible idea that I wanted to do.

I looked out of my window and I started to feel my heart beat faster.

I was nervous.

I had never done this before. I don’t normally do things behind my mother’s back because it’s a wrong thing to do but I had no choice. If I really wanted to go, I would have to sneak out using the window. I could use the front door while mom was asleep but it was only eight in the evening; she wouldn’t be sleeping at this time.

I closed my eyes with the wind blowing through my hair. I took a deep breath.

One...

two…

three…

and then I jumped.

God, please don’t let me die. I repeated those words in my head. I was preparing myself for the tremendous pain that I was expecting to feel. I had a feeling I was going to land on my knees or on my back. I could even fracture some bones. Maybe even a lot. Or maybe I could die.

Fortunately, I landed safely on my feet. I let out a sigh of relief and I ran. I ran as fast as I could to Lauren’s house.

***

“H-Hi L-Lauren.” I said when I finally arrived while gasping for breath.

“Arden,” she wrapped her arms around me. “You’re here!”

I smiled. “Of course, I wouldn’t want to miss your special night.”

I looked around and I noticed something wasn’t right. There wasn’t any loud music that I expected to hear and there weren’t any other people. The place looked absolutely appalling.

“Oh.” I felt sadness start to creep in when I realized that the party was over and I was too late. “I’m so sorry, Lauren.”

“Yeah…” she looked down at the floor and kicked a plastic cup in front of her. “But it’s totally fine.”

“No,” I averted my eyes to her. “We could still go to the park and talk about anything. We can hang out and do whatever we want.”

Lauren let out a small laugh and we made our way towards her car. I sat at the passenger seat and Lauren drove while our favorite song was playing on the radio.

It was midnight and only a few cars were around. The emptiness actually made the city looked ravishing. I looked out the window and I admired how the city lights glistened beautifully. My eyes started to feel heavy and I didn’t even realize I was drifting off to sleep.

***

“Remember the time when you threw a pizza slice up in the air and tried to catch it with your mouth in the cafeteria?” Lauren said. It was twenty-one minutes past two in the morning and we had been talking for nearly an hour already when the rain started to pour. She was sitting at the grass and I was at the swings. I didn’t even remember getting out of the car. Everything was such a blur and I didn’t bother to ask Lauren about it.

“Yeah,” I laughed as I recalled what happened. “I wasn’t able to catch it so it landed on Ms. Summer’s face instead.” Ms. Summer was our History teacher and she always seems to be exasperated. Whenever I see her in the hallways, she always has an annoyed look plastered on her face. She would even get really mad when you answer incorrectly when she asks you a question in class.

So when the slice of pizza landed on her face, I knew it was the end of the world, the end of my world. Everyone in the cafeteria bursted into laughter and Ms. Summer laughed along with them. I never expected her to laugh but after I apologized to her, she sent me to the principal office. I had detention for a week.

“Let’s go home. I don’t want to be soaked in the rain and also, my mom doesn’t know I went out. ” I said, thinking about how I would explain if she knew what I had done.

“Okay,” Lauren said with a hint of sadness in her voice. She’s been acting this way ever since we arrived in the park.

“Why are you so gloomy? It’s your birthday, you should be happy.”

“It’s nothing.” she forced a smile on her face. “I guess I’m just tired.”

I knew that she was lying. I knew that something was going on but I didn’t want to ask her about it.

We walked silently towards the car while stepping on little puddles. No one was talking so you could only hear the pouring rain. The silence was starting to become deafening but none of us broke it. I sighed. I’ve always hated awkward silence, especially when you’re having a good time in the first place and then the silence suddenly starts out of nowhere. We were a few feet away from the car when I noticed something strange.

“Lauren?” I said, panic rising in my voice.

I saw two people in the car. Both girls covered with the brightest shade of red I had ever seen. Blood. The one who was at the driver seat had her head buried on the steering wheel and the other had blood dripping from her mouth. I took a closer look and my heart started to race.

They both looked like Lauren and I. They were even wearing the same clothes as us and that’s when it hit me. They were us. So many thoughts suddenly clouded my head. I felt the world spin around and I didn’t even know if what I was seeing was real. I didn’t want this to be real.

“Are you seeing what I’m seeing?” I asked, my voice shaking.

There was a long silence.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to tell you.”

Tears started to stream down my face. I wanted this to be a dream and I wanted to wake up right now. I always have bad dreams so I should stop crying. I’m going to wake up soon, right?

“Tell me I’m dreaming. Please.”

I shouldn’t have jumped out of the window. I shouldn’t have done any of these things. Why? Why did I have to?

I am so sorry, Mom. I really am.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: That's the end! I hope you liked it. I know that it's really short but that's how it's supposed to be. Thank you for reading! xx