The Diary Of The Weak: My Journal

9:39-10:15 #16

I am the worst person ever. I didn't keep my promise, lost a friend, and a made a kid cry today. Blegh.

I'm guessing you're sitting there thinking, "How did all that shit happen in only ONE weekend?"

Well, quite frankly, I don't know either. But I am going to explain what I've been through.

First, I didn't keep my promise on updating. I feel absolutely TERRIBLE about it. It's just that I have a project in history and  only have a week. Plus, LOADS of drama has been in my life lately and I couldn't keep track of anything. I am updating sometime this week, but I am NOT making any promises that it will be tonight-tomorrow.

Second, I went to my friends celebration for her birthday which was also a sleepover. Only a few girls were there, and it was pretty cool. We were all getting along pretty well, until this bitch has to go and get my super pissed. She started saying that I was rude and that I didn't need to come to the party. I usually don't say anything back, but I went HARD. I confronted her and she shut her mouth in the snap of my fingers. I didn't feel bad about it until I got home and actually thought about it.

Third, I went to the public pool with my friend today and it was all fine. I just wanted to swim because I haven't done it in forever and I was having a stressful day. Then, this boy starts hitting us with a pool toy. I was not having a good day, and when I got hit in the face, I hit back. He started to cry and I froze. I didn't know what to do and I was terrified of what was going to happen. Nothing did happen after that and I went on with swimming. I still feel really bad about it though and I wish I could say sorry.

Another thing I wanted to talk about was not getting to express yourself. Personally, I LOVE coloured hair. I find it beautiful and interesting. I have coloured hair (pink in my hair that is now blonde) and I absolutely hate it. I want to dye my hair black and have side swept bangs. I hate everything about my hair. Itt's length, colour, style, etc. I want to change all of it, but apparently I can't. My father won't let me because he thinks my hair is "beautiful" and "perfect just the way it is". Listen here mother fucker, just because you like my hair the way it is, doesn't mean I do! It gets me so fucking pissed when things like this happen and I feel as if I need to cry. But I'm going to get it done one way or another and I will enjoy it.

I hope you all have a great night. Love you! MUAH.(;