Death Wish

𝚖 𝚒 𝚍 𝚗 𝚒 𝚐 𝚑 t

*W A R N I N G:   S U I C I D E   A T T E M P T*

H A R R Y:

I sigh and yank the covers off of me. I can't ever seem to sleep. I quickly grab the Marauder's Map and my Invisibility Cloak and slip through the door. 

I wind up at the base of the Astronomy Tower and decide to go up. I slowly climb the stairs and stop when I hear sobbing. I start creeping up the stairs, not wanting to frighten whoever is up there. I finally reach the top. A boy with pale hair and skin is standing on the opposite side of the railing, clinging on for dear life. It kind of looks like someone I know. I slowly sneak up behind him, sliding the cloak off and dropping it on the floor, "Malfoy?" He quickly turns around, his eyes swollen and filled with tears. "What do you want, Potter?" He practically spits my name out. "What are you doing?" I ask gently, not wanting to upset the already unnerved wizard. "What does it look like I'm doing, you idiot?!" he yells at me. I decide to ignore the insult, only because he's upset. "Draco, let me help you," I whisper. "Why do you feel the need to help everyone? Did you ever stop and think that maybe some people don't want it?" "You're right, I don't. But I know what it feels like to stand where you are. I desperately wanted someone to walk in and talk me down but no one ever did. And I almost jumped because of it. Just because you don't want my help, it doesn't mean I'm going to turn away from you," I whisper, inching closer to him. He's looking at me now, in shock. I was even shocked that I admitted I almost killed myself to him. Hopefully, he won't mention it to anyone after all of this is over. I think back to that night in the fifth year...

F L A S H B A C K:

I finally get to the top of the stairs in the Astronomy Tower. This'll be a great spot to do it. No chance in hell I'll survive that fall. I quickly step over the railing, my hands holding it tightly. I wait for several minutes before wondering why I haven't jumped yet. Because you know it isn't the right thing to do. I gently climb back over, holding back tears. I can't do it. Why the fuck can't I just do it? I can't do anything right! Why the fuck did I think I could kill myself when I can't even convince the world that Voldemort's back?! I slam my back into the wall, sliding down sobbing. What is wrong with me?

F L A S H B A C K   E N D S

"I don't know what to do," he finally whispers after ages. "You don't have to do anything, just let me help you," I say, offering my hand. "How do I know you're not going to push me?" He asks. My eyes fill up with tears. He's so hurt. "Look at me. Draco, look at me," he turns and his eyes meet mine, "Do you really think I'd push you?" His eyes are filled with fear and he looks so broken. "No," he croaks out. "No," I whisper. I reach out my hand again and he cautiously grabs it, still not trusting me 100%. "It's okay," I whisper, pulling his hand towards me to help him turn around. I can't believe I did all of this on my own all those years ago. He manages to turn around but a bird flies near us, spooking Draco and causing him to lose his balance. "AAH! HARRY!" He screams. My hand is the only thing keeping him from falling. "Shit, it's okay, I've got you. I'm not going to let go, okay?" I say, struggling to keep my grip. I reach down with my other hand, the railing digging into my stomach. "Grab my hand!" He swings his arm up to grab it but the movement causes his hand to slide further down my arm. "Okay, new plan," I say, bending even further over the edge. "Do it slowly this time, I can't move any further over or we'll both fall," I say, meeting his eyes. He looks absolutely terrified. "It's okay, come on," he slowly raises his arm and I grab it tightly.

I breathe a sigh of relief. I struggle to pull him up. As skinny as he is, he weighs a ton. I finally get him over the railing, but my foot slips on the cloak and we go crashing down to the floor. My head explodes in pain. Fuck, I hit my head hard. Malfoy is laying on me, tears falling down his face. I quickly reach my arms around his waist and hug him. He quickly shoves me and stands up, "What are you doing?" He snarls. "Trying to comfort you?" I sort of ask, rubbing the back of my head and standing up. I look at my hand and there's blood on it. "Shit, I'm bleeding," I say, looking at Malfoy. He suddenly looks terrified again. "Here, let me see." He moves behind me, pulling out his wand and whispers, "Lumos." "It doesn't look that bad," he whispers. "Maybe you should go to the hospital wing though, just in case." "What would I say to them?" "Yeah, you're right. Nox," suddenly, the tower goes dark again. "I'm sorry I shoved you away." "No, it's okay. I should've asked you first, anyway." He looks up at me through his lashes and shyly asks, "Could we try it again?" I grin and nod my head yes. I gently wrap my arms around his shoulders and his back and I feel him tense up. Obviously, he's not used to this type of physical contact. I rub his back and I feel him relax, wrapping his arms around my waist.

We stay like that for what feels like hours. I noticed a while ago that he stopped crying. "Do you want to talk about it?" I mumble into his shoulder, sleep slowly making me slur my words. "You're pushing it, Potter," he whispers, but I can feel his smile on my cheek. "Okay, but if you ever need to talk," I pull away to face him, "I'm always here. Okay?" He gently nods and our foreheads touch. Sleep is making me want to do stupid things with him. I reach up to his face and barely brush away the new tears forming. "You're not alone," I whisper. "I know."

A U T H O R ' S   N O T E:

Whew, so what do you guys think? Do you like it so far? Btw, I haven't seen the last 3 movies (I know, I know, bad Rachel) but I am literally in LOVE with Drarry. Sorry if anything is inaccurate. I had to look up pictures of the tower to make sure this made sense. Let me know what y' all think!

xx