Bad Intentions (Falling In Reverse)

Twelve: Even Atheist Have Faith

                         Twelve: Even Atheist Have Faith

~Bri~

“Yes. I did fuck Ronnie Radke.”

And cue the gasps, silence, a ‘fuck yeah’ screams. To be honest, I’m just shocked no one started screaming that they hate me.

“Twice.” I added, causing another round gasp. “And one of those times was ten minutes ago.” gasps yet again. Except for the few perverted fans who started doing the cat call. How cute. “But I swear on my life I never cheated on Christofer. I could never do that to him. Yes, me and Ronnie are tight, clearly. And being blamed for something you didn’t do is nothing new to Ronnie. But me? I’m not. This bullshit crushed me. Now, I’m not going to point fingers,” I laughed, giving a smirk. “Actually, you know what? I am. NewScene ruined me and Christofer’s relationship. So if you want to hate anyone, hate them and their rumors and lies.” I told them honestly. I’m so shocked that everyone was actually listening. They looked as if they’re hanging onto every word. Everyone’s eyes are on me.

“But I’m not going to stand here and say that I’m an innocent victim. Because, honestly? I’m not. I know I was wrong for doing some of the things I did with Ronnie. But it’s no different from what I do with Alex, or what Christofer does with Connie. In fact, according to NewScene, Christofer and Connie have been ‘involved’” yes, I did those god awful air quotes to make fun of Lauren and Jeff. “for the past few months. Even before we officially broke up. But no one says that‘s wrong or even tried to find out if its true or not. Oh, but they dug deep and worked hard to make me and Ronnie look bad. Am I the only one seeing the big ass double standard here?”

‘Hell yeah’ ‘Damn right’ and cheers of ‘Fuck yeah’ filled my ears. I assume they’re agreed, so I continued with my speech. “The first time I slept with Ronnie was about a week ago. I’ve been single for two months. So, I’m pretty sure that’s not cheating.” I said, getting a little mad. “Everything I just said is the truth. You can believe it, or you don’t have to. But, to anyone who has called me a cheating whore, I’ve got two fingers for you.” I told them, holding up both of my middle fingers. Of course, they went wild. Everyone loves a good show.

I smiled before getting serious. It’s time to wrap this up. “Yes, I slept with Ronnie. But that doesn’t change my feelings for Christofer. He’s done fucked up shit and so have I. We’ve hurt each other, our fans, and everyone involved in this. But look, we’re human. We mess up. But we learn from those mistakes. And hell, I’ve surely learned from mine. So please, learn from my mistakes as well. Don’t lose the person you’re in love with over something stupid and meaningless.”

I gave them a sad smile before walking away from the mic to pick up my guitar, turning the volume up as I did so. “I am extremely, totally, and completely in love with Christofer Drew Ingle.” I told them, wiggling my fingers at my side to cue Julz to start the drums. “This is Have Faith In Me.”

Julz finished up her beginning drum solo, then Zack added the bass. He actually went with the tabs Mika wrote and it doesn’t sound half bad. I turned to Jake with a smile, cueing him to start the guitar part.

Pick in hand, I grabbed the mic stand to sing the first few lyrics in a whisper. “Have faith in me…Cause there are things that I’ve seen I don’t believe.” I slammed on my strings twice. “So cling to what you know! And never let go! You should know, things aren’t always what they seem.” Then we all started playing the chorus.

“I said I’d never let you go, and I never did!
I said I’d never let you fall, and I always meant it!
If you didn’t have this chance, then I never did!
You’ll always find me right there, again.

I’m going crazy.
Cause there are things in the streets, I don’t believe.
So we’ll pretend it’s alright.
Stay in for the night!
Oh, what a world.
I’ll keep you safe here with me!

I said I’d never let you go, and I never did!
I said I’d never let you fall, and I always meant it!
If you didn’t have this chance, then I never did!
You’ll always find me right there, again.”

From behind me, Julz started singing back up. “Ahhh! Ahhhahhh!”

I smiled, knowing she was no longer mad.

“I said I’d never let you go, and I never did!
I said I’d never let you fall, and I always meant it!
If you didn’t have this chance, then I never did!
You’ll always find me right there, again.

They’ve got me on the outside, looking in!
But I can’t see it all! With the weight of the world, on my shoulders!
They just wanna see me fall!

They’ve got me on the outside, looking in!
But I can’t see it all! With the weight of the world, on my shoulders!
They just wanna see me fall!”

I remembered what I meant by those lyrics. The weight of the world meant my fans and Christofer‘s. His fans just wanted to see me break down. They wanted me to give up, back down.

I whispered into the nice again. “Have faith in me.” we all know what those lyrics meant.

Slamming on my strings once more, I leaning my face closer to the mic, getting louder as I got a little more upset and into the song.

“I said I’d never let you go, and I never did!
I said I’d never let you fall, and I always meant it!
If you didn’t have this chance, then I never did!
You’ll always find me right here, again.

I said I’d never let you go, and I never did!
I said I’d never let you fall, and I always meant it!
If you didn’t have this chance, then I never did!
You’ll always find me right here, again.

I said I’d never let you go and I never did.

I said I’d never let you go and I never did.

I said I’d never let you go and I never did.

I said I’d never let you go and I never did!”

I smiled as the crowd went wild again. I felt…relieved. Light. Like a some of the weight on my chest was lifted. I finally got out everything I wanted to say. I finally told the world everything I wanted them to know. And the best part? The song I just sung was written by everyone on this tour. I smiled again.

My life is a mess. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Alright.” I said, putting my guitar back on the stand. “Let’s make this heavy. Let me here you scream!”

----

“First of all, may I ask why the hell you did that?” Alex told me as FIR started their set. Alex gave me a smile before leaning down so I could hear him over the now blasting music. “It was stupid, but I’m proud of you for doing it. And Rob is looking for you.” he shouted into my ear with a worried look.

“Why?” I yelled back.

He just shrugged before pushing me toward Rob who was standing near the back door with his arm crossed.

I cringed at our manager’s emotionless face. You can never tell if he’s pissed or happy or sad. He’s just always really…blank. Cute, but blank. “Get over here.” Rob snapped his fingers before pointing to the clear space in front of him. “Now.”

I’m gonna assume he’s mad. I should be worried, but it’s hard to take my 21 year old manager seriously when he has on a panda shirt and skinny jeans. Not to mention the stretchers (gauges) that are big enough to stick my arm through. “What did I do now, Rob?” I asked, reluctantly dragging my self to stand in front of him.

“You do realize I’m going to get hell from the label for that stunt you just pulled, right?” he snapped, flexing his jaw. Yup. Defiantly pissed. “Have you lost your ever loving mind, Bri? They could kick you guys--”

I cut him off, putting my hand up. “Come off it, Rob. They’re not going to take us of off the label just because I told the true story and sang a song before it was recorded.” I rolled my eyes. “And even if they do, it’ll be their loss because we’ll just sign with Epitaph. They’ve been wanting us for months. So, I’m not worried.”

Rob shook his head. “There’s someone outside who wants to see you.”

“Who?”

“They told me not to tell you.”

I cocked an eyebrow. “Rob…” I warned.

He grabbed my arm, rolling his eyes as he pushed me out of the back door. “Just go, Bri. Stop being so damn stubborn.” he mumbled that last part as he pulled the door closed with annoyed look on his face. Oh, so he can make facial expressions. Who knew?

I sighed, crossing my arms before turning around to come face-to-face with the last person I expected to see at one of our shows. Honestly, this is the last person I expected to see in general. I completely froze, shocked and not knowing what to do.

“Nancy?” I said in awe, letting my mouth hang open a bit.

So, uhm…Will someone please explain why the hell Christofer’s Mother is here?

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Author’s Note: Short. And, yet another cliffhanger! I’m just so awful. ;) Anyway, I’ve seen a few comments about who’s side you guys are on. So my question is: Team Ronnie or Team Christofer? Who do you want Bri to end up with? Tell me in the comments! Every comment counts! You’ll find out why soon. ;)

One or two more chapters left, I think! I might end up adding more, not sure. But for now, vomment and fan, dears! Love ya for reading! :D

-Lexi Rain