BOB'S BONFIRE BONANZA
EXT. THE CAR BOOT SALE
Tom and Bob walk around the stalls at the car boot sale.
Tom is holding an old car bumper
TOM
Why do we need an old car bumper Bob?
BOB
Remember Halloween?
TOM
Don't remind me. I told you I looked nothing like a schoolgirl Bob, but you insisted that I looked genuine.
BOB
You created enough of a diversion for me to nick all that wood from Dodgy Chris.
TOM
Yeah, Dodgy Chris the mechanic, who tried to tow away your car and ended up towing the bumper instead. You know, it was lucky the police put that clamp on the back wheel, or Chris might have taken your whole car.
BOB
It wasn't a clamp, it was a foot, and Dodgy Chris loosened it up for me.
TOM
Yeah, when he couldn't move it he turned it over on its side with that new bobcat of his. The foot conveniently fell off when you got me, Dave and Ian to turn it back the right way for you. Besides, this is for a BMW, it'll never fit on the Fiesta.
BOB
Of course it will Tom, have faith in your old friend Bob! A bit of sellotape goes a long way.
TOM
I'm surprised that there's any of the Fiesta left, the amount of sellotape holding it together.
BOB
There's nothing wrong with a bit of sellotape.
TOM
You should take it to a garage.
BOB
Tom. If I took the fiesta to a garage, it would cost me \u00a340 to have it repaired. A dab of sellotape here and there, keeps it on the road. I've been through some scrapes in that car and it's never let me down.
TOM
That's because you've always got me, Dave and Ian to push it for you., like that trip to the dales. We pushed it up the hill because you said there was a garage. When we got there, there was no garage. You just wanted to bump start it down the hill.
BOB
Never mind Tom. How much money have you got?
TOM
A pound.
BOB
That'll be enough.
Bob walks over to Pound's stall. Pound is sitting on top of a load of old junk.
BOB (CONT'D)
Wow. How much did all this lot cost you?
POUND
Pound.
Bob looks around and sees a barrel of highly flammable toxic waste.
BOB
Look Tom, a barrel of highly flammable toxic waste.
TOM
And what use is a barrel of highly flammable toxic waste?
