Finding Solace

IX

I started at the slightly transparent, orange medication bottle that was now lying on my lap. Even after the years of staring at the label, my name printed and stuck to the side,I had gotten used to having to rely on this stupid pill. I hated how attached I was to it, how my doctors and mind convinced me that I needed it. It almost felt as if it were an addiction. That my body and mind would act up just so that it could have another tablet, but deep down, I knew it wasn't the case. As much as I hated it, I dare say that I do need it.

The fast acting drug traveled around my system, forcing my muscles to relax. I placed a hand on my chest, relieved that my heart rate was slowly down and that my rapid breathing was ceasing. Though, it did get ride of my severe symptoms, my hands always seemed to have some sort of tremble, not matter if I was calm or not. I was messed up. Completely and utter broken that had to rely on some tiny substance to even function somewhat normally through a day.

I jumped up when I soft yet solid knock sounded at my window. Panicking, I jumped, the medication bottle falling to the floor and hopefully out of sight. At first, I could only see a cowboy hat blocking my view, the shade from the brim blocked their facial features. As they tilted their head up, the sun lit their face, leading me to stare a girl around my age. I relaxed and let out a sigh.

Opening in the door, I expected to be baking by this time. In the city, by nine in the morning, it was scalding in the Summer. I was pleasantly surprised when I fell the cool morning air, dew still sitting on top the grass. It was an oddly relaxing feeling, not having to worry about sweating and staining clothes. It also felt amazing on my now clammy skin.

"Are you okay? You were in there for quite a bit." She seemed to be missing a southern draw, just as I, and that made me feel somewhat comfortable. Although the she was missing the accent, she still looked the part. With the worn boots, tattered jeans and the hat to go with it, she looked like she belonged her as much as anyone. I, on the other hand, probably would stick like a sore thumb in my city slicker clothing.

"Are you alright?" She repeated again, catching my attention. I rubbed my forehead and shook my head a bit, trying to remember why I really came out here.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I pulled at the sleeves at the jacket that I had been wearing for a few days now. The scent in which coated it was now gone and was replaced with a hint of grease and dirt from me.

"Are you sure? You look a bit pale." Her eyebrows drew together as she focused on me,unnerving me.

"I'm fine." I sounded drained, emotionless. My response sounded annoyed and I didn't mean for it to sound like that.

"Um okay. Well anyway, I'm Tawny." She definitely looked a Tawny. Holding  her hand out and I quickly shook it, hoping she didn't see or feel my trembling.
"Most people call me Tawn, though."

"Faylyn" I quietly responded, shuffling back and forth my my feet, watching the dust stir around.

"Oh! You're Faylyn!" She did a once over on me. "I get it now."

I didn't understand what she was talking about or where she was coming from but I didn't comment. I wasn't exactly sure what I was supposed to say so I just stayed quiet. She didn't say anything either or walk away so I guess she was just waiting for me.

Pulling the car keys from the pocket of the hoodie, I pushed the button and popped the trunk. I needed something to do, anything to get out of this situation. As I moved to back and began to grab my cases, she came to my side.

"Would you like some help those?" She nodded to the two cases. They would be slightly difficult to bring up the stairs but it would be more of a nuisance than anything. I pulled out the bigger of the two suitcases with a bit of struggling, my arms being weaker than I though they were.

"No, thank you though." I looked at a nearby horse that was tied down to a fence. "It looks like your a bit busy." I said as I pulled the second on out and set it by my feet.

"It's not a problem. I'm early to my shift at the clinic anyway. It would only take a minute."

"I think I can manage." I said, tightly grasping the handle as I closed the trunk with my other hand.

"Nonsense." She grabbed the other suitcase with ease and began to pull it behind her. I watched bewildered as began to turn the corner and head to the front door. "Are you coming?" She called over her shoulder.

I was a good distance behind her al I followed into the house and up the stairs. She waited patiently as I led her the room that I was temporally occupied. She placed the suitcase by the door and eyed the yellow comforter that was on the bed, smirking.

"So, you're the one who found that horse and puppy, right?" I nodded to her and she sighed happily.

"It's such an amazing thing that you've done. They are in pretty bad shape right now but you might be able to ride him in a few months."

"I-I'm not-." I shook my head. "I've already pushed my stay and the family's hospitality." The air seemed to shift almost immediately. The once light and somewhat calming atmosphere turned still and heavy, almost as if it were hard to breathe.

"So I guess you're planning on leaving soon?" Her voices changed to a somber tone, almost monotonous. I swallowed hard and nodded my head, afraid to even look at her.

"It would be best." She reached her hand out but I yanked mine back, her fingers just grazing mine. I didn't look to see her reaction but thankfully she didn't comment on it.

"Just promise me this. Just talk to Rose, she seems to like you and would be heartbroken if you left so soon."

"Okay." I spoke quietly, fidgeting with the jacket sleeves. Assured by my response, she began to leave the room. Pausing by the door, she turned around and I looked up, more comfortable with the distance between us. She gave me a small smile before speaking.

"Also, stop by the clinic before you go. I'm pretty sure the animals would like that."