The Light

1st and only chapter

My life has been full of their ups...their downs. And somehow I wind up smiling and laughing it off waiting for the one break in my happiness sending me spiraling out of control. I've been told I'm tiring, countless times. But I mean you can't say someone's tiring unless you fully know them, and for you to have called me 'tiring' well let's just say..maybe you don't know me as well as you thought. But let's cut to the chase.

I was born in 2000, Im a July baby😏. I was diagnosed with A.D.D and as a baby I had many seizures. Around age 3 my mom kicked my dad out of the house and pushed out couch in front of the door. I don't really know what happened exactly but I mean I understand..now...but I didn't for the longest time.

My dad is what you would call a kook. He is a rapist and about 3 more things that I won't get into.

When I was around 6 so I was in 1st grade, my mom had this boyfriend named Joshua. We lived with him. Joshua had an obsession with video games. One day our cat, Oreo, got stuck under the bunk bed. My sister went under to get it and bruised a rib. My other sister and I were scared and screaming for help and he wouldn't get off the couch to come help us because he was to interested in beating a level. My mom came in and we brought my sister to the hospital. I went over my dads house when I was in 2nd grade. My mom and Joshua were still together. I was 7, and didn't know better. I called my dad 'joshua' and my dad turned around at some excessive rapid speed and slapped me until I had bruises. But my daddy didn't mean to so my sisters and I kept quiet. Back at the house I had an experience that I am actually scarred about and I don't talk about it to many people. Joshua took my mom into the bathroom and locked the door. My sister cried and cried as we (7, 11, and 9 year olds) tried to kick down the door. My mom was shoved into the counter and broke a few fingers or her wrist I forget which one. I remember hearing my mom scream for us to call the police. Keep in mind our ages. So yahdah yahdah Joshua was arrested for a night.

Then I'm age 8, I go to my daddy's house. He locked me out of the house with nothing but a brick and a broken chair. And it was January so I didn't even have a coat. He made my 12 year old sister make him food, also known as mashed potatoes and steak.. like what the hell. anyways my other sister, age 10, was to clean his bathroom.

Then comes the sleepover at daddy's house. My sisters got to sleep on his hard wood floor and I was forced on the bed with him. And that is the age where I was first sexually assaulted that I know of. And for lack of better words he made me feel him. And I have only told one person that but I mean now whom ever is reading this knows..

So basically long story short I was sexually assaulted a lot by my dad, he abused me until I bled or bruised...i still have a scar.. and I also got bullied for being the ugly one of our grade. Until now.

Right now I'm 14 years old, 9th grade. My first "boyfriend" was when I was 13 or 6 months ish ago. I was the one to ask him out and let me just tell you, it was off a dare. So yeah that ended after 4 days. In July we dated for reals and he dumped me because he played the sister card on me. So jackass if you're reading this, suck my dick (: . anyways I began to cut because all 8th grade I suffered severe depression and one guy who is reading this because yeah he asked to so hayyyyyy 😂😂😂 kay anyways so he actually stopped me from killing myself without knowing. he always listened to me and was there for me and I sooner than later fell for him. And I fell hard. Anyways my friends didn't like me talking to him so yeah I almost stopped and then he told me he liked me sooo yeah we kept talking. July 27,2014 Joe asked me out at 1:13 am and well duh I said yea. And then me being the depressed bitch I am broke up with him after our one month and then we got back together the next day and then I broke up with him again bc stuff happened. But we won't get into that because we got past that stuff. But Joe was the light I needed and I'm improving because of him. Anddd yes there is obviously a hella lot more to my life that not many people know but I'm not gunna expose all that to the world.. Anyways so yeah Joe seems how you be reading this I love you with all my heart and idk how you stand me💜💜💜

Okay yeah that's all I'm writing I might add more later but byee.