Till the end of the line

Chapter 2

"Hey, pick on someone your own size." Said a man in the back alley, with a beaten up weaker guy behind him.
Suddenly, the scene turned into dark blue with dozens of lights shining though the dark night. "Hey Bucky!" echoed the girl's voice who was wearing a flared skirt and tightly curled hair.
"This isn't about me." The beaten up man appeared once again, this time in a warmly lit room with huge posters plastered across the room.
"Don't do anything stupid before I get back."you told him.  "How can I, taking all the stupid with you." You turned around and left, entering into the empty black void again.

The Winter Soldier woke up with a jerk. It was nightfall by now, and he was inside the pile of debris from the collapsed building. "The scenes in my head," he thought,"they appear every time I finish another mission and black out." He could not remember when, where, or how those scenes happened. But it certainly is too peculiar for him to just make it up in a dream. The soldier sat on top of the debris and rested his hands between his head, trying to think of what had happened before he blacked out. But all he could remember was that he failed the mission and someone called him Bucky, which sounded oddly familiar in a good way.

The Soldier took some clothings from a shop inside the building and put on a cap. When he walked out of the debris, no one could recognise him, as the actual person that he is and the killing machine they programmed him to be, were 2 distinctively different person. Every time the Winter Soldier finishes a mission, he passes out. When he wakes up, he is a normal person again, until they brain wash him over and over when he remembers too much of his past. The soldier blended in with the crowd and started walking around the buzzing city of New York.

"What the actual fuck." He questioned himself as he walked around with helplessness and anger. Even though he could not control himself when he is on a mission, he still felt extremely sorry and ashamed of what he has damaged every time after he comes to his senses again. What kills him even more is that he remembers everyone he has killed in the past, which filled him with self-hatred. Sometimes, the people that he has killed throughout the years still haunt him in his dreams. It seemed as if he will never be able to breakthrough the chains of agony and misery. This also led to his severe mental depression, which made him view the world in a greyish-blue hue. "How nice would it feel to be able to walk out of the black, and step into the blue? " he always thought although he believed that he will never know the answer to it.

As he was walking, he found an old residential building in the poor neighbourhood of New York. On top of the building was a deserted, rusted shed. There he settled down and as days and days gone by, there were only some drug dealers doing their business occasionally on the roof, but other than that, he lived his life quite peacefully. Since he failed his mission, he was sure that he could not possibly return to the terrorist organisation as he has failed his mission. The soldiers who returned with failed mission were either killed right on the spot if they were lucky, or had to go through a series of brutal, inhumane sufferings before they were ultimately killed. The organisation was formed by some extreme ideologists in 1991 when the Soviet Union fell and their goal was to train up and programme human beings into mass killing machines so that they can reunite the Soviet Union through war and possibly take over Europe, ultimately the world, turning it into a communism based "utopia", as they like to call it.

As each day passed, the soldier remembered more of his past through chunks and bits of memories. One new thing that he remembered today was that he saw the same guy he was dreaming of ,only taller and more handsome, clinging onto the side of a moving train as he fell into heaps of snow. However, the more he thought about it, the more confused he was, as it seemed like he met this man just a couple weeks ago, but he couldn't remember when or what he exactly looked like. It was like a big chunk of missing puzzle left for him to find out. Nevertheless, it was still the most he had figured out about his past since he became the Winter Soldier, as the generals of the organisation tend to wipe away his memory at most 3 days after he blacks out. Although the Soldier is still feeling down and lost like before, as he started to remember more about his past, it felt like a glowing, flickering fire has rekindled in his soul, and for the first time, he finally found a will to live. He was desperate to know who the man was in his memory.

After finishing dinner early by picking up bits and scrapes of leftover food from a fast food restaurant, he started to wander around New York. The Soldier liked New York. It was very alive with bright illuminated screens, skyscrapers and all kinds of people walking around. "The assassins from the terrorist attack in New York were all captured by the S.H.I.E.L.D. Cooperate, however, amidst the international cooperative search of the infamous Winter soldier, he is no where to be seen. " Said a woman in the screen," We advise you to stay alert and be aware of your surroundings."The Soldier ducked his head and continued to walk. Another thing he liked about New York is that he is a nobody here when he is not Winter Soldier. Firstly, the Winter Soldier always wears a face mask, so no one except from a few man who saw a glimpse of it from the last attack has ever seen his face. Secondly, he is just nothing like the assassin when he is not controlled.

Further and further he walked, until he stopped in front of a museum. A huge banner with the sentence  "In celebration of the awakening of Captain America" was plastered across the front entrance of the museum. Somehow, the word Captain America really fascinated the Soldier, so, he decided to go in for a walk.

A large painting of the American Hero and living legend was hanged on the wall of the museum. As the Soldier walked towards it, he suddenly came into a realisation out of his wildest dreams. "Oh my god..." The saluting man with dreamy greyish blue eyes, a defined jaw, wearing a navy blue suit symbolising America and the burning love for his nation is the man he dreamed of every night! Bewildered by this sudden realisation, he stumbled back in awe.

Next to the painting were glass boards explaining the extraordinary life of Captain America. The more he read, the more he understood.The man he met in his dreams is called Steve Rogers and he eventually became Captain America after injecting the experimental serum to make him taller and more muscular. He also played a major role in WW2 by saving dozens of troops and defeating Hydra, the maniac German leader similar to Hitler before crashing into the frigid waters, his frozen body floating on ice and being in a vegetative state for 70 years. However, the Soldier still didn't understand why Steve was always appearing in his memory.

The Winter Soldier read the board one by one until he moved to a glass board dedicated to Bucky Barnes. There was a picture of Bucky Barnes next to the description. He had a structured jaw with slightly frowning eyebrows and greyish emerald eyes. The most unique part was the dimple in his chin, it was a little flaw on his face which completed and tied all of his facial features perfectly together. Funny as it sounds, when the Soldier stood in front of it looking at Bucky Barnes. It seemed like a mirror of himself. A much happier version of himself. They even look identical. That was the first time the Soldier has smiled for a long time.

"When Bucky Barnes first met Steve Rogers on the playgrounds of Brooklyn...." "...Barnes enlisted into the army shortly after the Pearl Harbour Attack..." "Captured by Hydra Troops later that fall..." "...Liberated by Steve Rogers, now Captain America" "together destroyed Hydra's base...throughout Europe..." As Winter Soldier kept reading, he finally found the missing piece of puzzle. Everything finally made sense! Suddenly, flashbacks from the past flew before his eyes. Him and Steve playing as children. Eating dinner with Steve. Taking girls out to the innovation tech Expo together as a double date. Joining the army and fighting with Steve by his side. Falling off the train in a mission. Being found by the Soviet agents in the Alps. All of the memories he had in his mind synchronised with the events happened on the boards. Everything. Made. Sense. He looked back at the picture of Bucky Barnes and said to himself in disbelief.

"So I am Bucky."