What Nobody Told Me About Love.

Chapter Four.

Nobody told me a single truth about love. Everyone's heart is so unique that they couldn't. They couldn't tell me it's terrifyingly beautiful. That it's like flying above the clouds with no back up plan. That it's trust. That it's a dizzy whirlwind of love, passion, confusion and fear. Nobody told me that sometimes I won't know. That I can't depend on them. Nobody told me that it's okay to fall. Nobody told me it was okay to fly. Nobody told me that sometimes it's like you're standing in the eye of a hurricane with fragile wings. That sometimes it picks you up and throws you to heights you've never seen before. That sometimes it tosses you to the ground. Breaks your wings. Nobody told me that just because your wings are broken doesn't mean that you'll never fly again. Nobody told me it was okay to be me. To be fierce. Smart. Independent. Protective. Strong. A fighter. A lover. A hater. Confused but certain in that confusion. To know that I can fight my battles and not have them fought for me and to not be left to fight alone.

You show me depths of myself. I'm fierce and always will be, like there's fire in my viens and I can speak ice and make people freeze and stop to think. I'm smart and always will be, I'll never lose what I know and I'll never stop pursuing my own definition of excellence, that nobody will take my mind and thoughts. I'm independent, I take care of myself and others and can survive on my own, I can fly free and swim deep whenever I'd like. I'm protective, I never leave what's mine, and stand by them no matter what. That I'll wage a war in the name of my love and everyone who makes up my love because they're mine and no harm will come to them. I'm strong. I never ever give up, I'm determined and get up if I'm knocked down, I win my fights with grace and dignity and I lose them that way. I'm a fighter. I always fight for what I believe, I fight for what I love, I fight for me. I fight everyday and never ever give in. I never have to do it alone. I fight my own battles but you've always got my six. I love and I hate. I let my emotions fill my lungs, my viens, my chest. I feel and feel deeply like an icy fire hurling me, pushing me forward while keeping me cool and logical.

I know I don't know it all and I find comfort in it. I know what I want and I know you're a part of that. I know I'll always be discovering learning growing. I know the path I want to take but I don't know  what's on the path. Like walking home in the dark I know I'm blind but I'll find my way there safely eventually. You show me these sides of myself. Even though you didn't cause these things because these things are me, you help me see them clearly. You help me see my flaws and my good traits. Like a pair of glasses. You didn't change what I'm seeing, just helped me see it clearly.  You never told me anything about love. You just pointed me in the direction and let me find it, learn it, live it. I learned sometimes you don't need to be told about love. You just find it in yourself. And that's what nobody ever told me about love.