Destiny and our Beyond (Alfiera Series #1)

Twenty Five

Ease

It's hard when you're in between of your responsibilities and your desires and you have to choose one.

There are times that I was thinking of forgetting my responsibilities just to fulfill my desires.

It was all fuck up when I started crying under my comforter. I was thinking if is this the end of us? I'm trying to reach him out through call but he's not answering.

Hindi na ako bumaba for dinner. alam kong naroon pa si Cylander at hinihintay akong sumabay sa kanila ni mommy pero nagmatigas ako at hindi sila sinabayan. nakailang katok na sila sa kwarto ko pero hindi ako nagpatinag.

I'm hugging a pillow, while standing in front of the glass window of my room watching Cylander to go home with his car.

Kung sana ay marunong siyang umintindi ng nararamdaman ko ay hindi kami hahantong sa ganito. I'm not dumb to notice his actions towards me, he likes me and he won't deny it.

how come?

Nagmukmok lang ako sa kwarto ko at hindi na nagbalak pang bumaba kahit na nakaramdam na ako ng pagkagutom. masama ang loob ko kila mommy hanggang ngayon, nakakainis dahil wala man lang akong magawa kahit pa anong pagpupumilit ko sa kanila.

I'm having a half bath habang nakatulala at natatabunan ng mga bula ang kalahating katawan ko sa bathtub.

Thinking about how my parents invalidates my choices in life, makes me cry. how they control my life for my own good when I'm not even happy about it. parang hindi ko hawak ang buhay ko dahil kontrolado ang lahat sa paraang gusto nila.

I was preparing for a sleep, pinagkaabalahan ko nalang ang pag-aayos ng aking higaan para naman maging comfortable ang pagtulog ko.

I checked my phone after and it has a message from Evo! nabuhayan naman agad ako at agad na binuksan iyon.

Evo;

Let's talk?

I immediately dialed his number and he answered it immediately. we decided to use facetime call so we can see each other, tinabunan ko ng kumot ang kalahating mukha ko dahil namumula ang ilong at pisngi ko dahil naparami ako ng iyak kanina, hindi naman din ganun halata sa mata ko kaya okay lang.

"Who picked you up?" he asked. medyo dim ang paligid niya at nakahilata na ito sa kama niya.

"I'm sorry, it was Cylander.." I said. napakagat ako ng labi habang tinitingnan ito mula sa screen. hindi ito sumagot agad at salubong lang ang kilay.

"Tell me why is he picking you up?" he asked. I don't know how to tell this, kaya hindi rin ako makasagot.

"My mother wants him to pick me up every after school.." I answered slowly. his brows suddenly shot up after.

"For what reason?" he asked. I know he's not too dumb to realize, maybe he wants to hear it from me. I just look up at the ceiling of my room, hindi na alam ang isasagot ko. bahagyang natanggal ang kumot nakatabon sa kalahati ng mukha ko kaya nakita niya iyon.

"Did you just cry?" he asked with his piercing eyes.

"Kanina, but it's alright!" I said trying to smile. his piercing eyes remain.

"Why?" he asked with his commanded voice. ayokong aminin na dahil sa kanya pero alam kong hindi ito titigil hindi ko sasabihin ang totoo.

"You're not answering my calls.." mahinang sagot ko. a small smile crept out of his lips.

"I made you cry?" malumanay na tanong niya.

"Sorry, I was preoccupied awhile ago." he said seriously.