Trust [h.s.]

VIII

There is not a feeling in the world that can compare to the warmth in your chest that spreads like wildfire once you hear the contented sigh of a lover. The second the puff of air flows from their lungs, they pull you closer to them, their arm draped across your mid-section, their lips ghosting against your neck. Even with closed, peaceful eyes, you smile, a gentle kind of happiness settling upon you as the small gesture manifests itself into all the words unsaid. With silent lips, your lover says 'I need you, I want you, I cherish you'.

These were the thoughts that filled my brain as I drifted into consciousness the next morning. And Luke, as he tugged me closer to him in his sleep, nuzzled his head in the crook of my neck. My eyes, though still closed, could make out the stream of sunlight that seeped through the curtains, shedding a glow of the bright rays into the cozy room. I smiled to myself as the world around me seemingly paused long enough for a new wave of exhaustion to pull me under its grip, and tug me back to sleep.

When I woke next, Luke released a sleepy groan, shifting in his sleep, then releasing a yawn as he exited his dreaming state. His actions pulled me into consciousness too, and a light groan puffed from my lips as my eyes fluttered open, ready to greet the outside world.

Except when open, my eyes burned once in contact with the brightly illuminated room, my head pounded with last night's actions, my stomach churned with an overwhelming nausea. And as I rolled my head to obtain a better view of the boy next to me, I stifled a gasp as my eyes met the piercing emerald glare that coldly met my own. It wasn't Luke at all, it was Harry, lying next to me, with unreadable and emotionless eyes.

I involuntarily jumped, sitting up in bed, then scooting as far away from Harry as the mattress would allow. It was then that it all came flooding back to me, the boys, the games, the drinking, the kissing. I was suddenly embarrassed by my reckless behavior, averting my eyes to the silky sheets as I wished to go back in time, and undo all that had been done.

The room was silent for what felt like forever as Harry observed me intently, though I refused to meet his gaze, and instead, crumpled up the layers of messy blankets beneath me. His breathing was steady and sound, no hint of anger threatening to burst from beyond his sealed lips. It was a calm kind of observance, almost as though I were an animal whose habits Harry could not quite fathom.

From outside, the brittle winter winds gushed through the air, swaying the branches of the bare trees, their twigs flailing around with crackling wisps. I could almost hear the ungodly temperatures of the outside, the sounds of the chilly breeze containing a breath to it that was only heard in the winter months.

"Say something." Harry spoke in a raspy tone that was still coated in sleep from the early hour.

"I-I don't know what to say." I admitted quietly, too ashamed to dare meet his eye. I knew my cheeks were burning with red, heat blazing from my face as Harry stared down at me with an intensity only he could accomplish. "Last night was a mistake. We didn't know what we were doing." I mumbled, toying with the baby blue quilt that covered my aching body-which was thankfully still clad in yesterday's clothing.

"Hm." Harry grunted, and I couldn't tell if it was in protest or agreement. He made no move to rise from the bed, and I, with a thumping cranium that seemingly shook my skull, felt incapable of leaving the plush fortress. So again, silence encompassed the atmosphere around us, an awkward, tension-filled quietness that left my mind reeling for something to say.

"This can't happen again." I said, finally allowing myself to peer up at Harry from beneath my dark lashes. His brows were furrowed as he continued to stare at me, and I wanted nothing more than to know what it was that he was thinking.