Where I Want To Be (2b published)

Chapter 5 - Sanctuary

Dumiretso ako kina Bea.

Nasa abroad pareho ang parents n'ya. Ang father n'yang piloto kung saan-saan nadedestino. Ang step mother n'yang nurse nasa Dubai. Ang kasama n'ya lang sa bahay eh yung half sister n'yang 8 years older at ang tiyahin nito. Okay naman si tita at si ate Patricia, hindi sila nakiki-elam kay Bea, kaya kahit magpabalik-balik ako sa kanila, wala silang paki.

Pagdating ko, tinignan ako ni ate Paticia at pinapasok ng walang tanung-tanong.

"She's in her room." sabi n'ya.

Dumiretso ako sa kuwarto ni Bea at kumatok sa pinto. Nang buksan n'ya ito, niyakap ko agad s'ya at napa-hagulgol sa pag-iyak.

"Jason?! Ano'ng nangyari?

Wala akong mai-sagot.

"Ba't nanginginig ka?"

Patuloy lang ako sa pag-iyak.

Gusto kong sabihin sa kanya ang lahat nang nangyari. Pero naalala ko ang sabi ni Densio. 'Idadamay ko pati yang syota mo.'

Biglang 'di ko mabuksan ang bibig ko.

"Jason, tell me what happened!" sabing muli ni Bea.

Napailing lang ako.

"C-can I use your b-bathroom?" I asked her. "Gusto kong m-maligo."

Tinitigan akong matagal ni Bea bago s'ya tumayo at inabutan ako ng towel.

In the bath, I scrubbed my whole body until I was sore, but I could still feel his tongue and his filthy hands touching me.

Biglang may kumatok sa pinto.

"Jason, are you okay?" Bea sounded worried.

Bago pa ako makasagot, bumukas ang pinto sa banyo at pumasok si Bea. Naabutan n'ya akong umiiyak, sitting on the floor on a fetal position.

"My God, Jason..." napa bulong si Bea.

Kinuha n'ya ang towel at tinakpan ang katawan ko. Ang puting towel na agad namula ng madikit sa akin.

"Damn it, Jason, ano ba talaga ang nagyari? Please, you have to tell me!"

Umiling ako at niyakap syang mahigpit. Kahit gusto ko man, ayaw lumabas sa bibig ko ang mga salita.

Later that night, magkayakap kaming natulog ni Bea.

"Nandito lang ako, best friend, everything will be fine." sabi n'ya.

Hindi ko masabing siya ang dahilan ng takot ko. Na may maaring manakit sa kanya dahil sa akin. Na wala akong magawa – ako na lalaki, ay walang magawa para maipag-tanggol s'ya.

Hindi ko namalayan nang nakatulog kami, pero tanghali na ako nagising, at biglang naalala kung ano'ng araw iyon.

"B-bea... f-first day of e-exams ngayon." I reminder her.

"Hmm... so?" she mumbled, her eyes still closed.

"K-kailangan mong pu... pumasok..." Humarap si Bea sa akin.

"Why are you stuttering?" Hinawakan n'ya ako sa braso at nanlaki ang mata. "Jason, you're burning up." sabi n'ya, "I need to call your mo–"

"NO!" bigla akong napasigaw. "I-I'll be fine, just... d-don't call back home." Bea looked at me darkly, but she didn't ask any more questions.

"I'm staying here with you." she said instead.

"But the exams..."

"Screw the exams. May make-up tests naman e." sabi n'ya.

Inalagaan ako ni Bea the whole day.

The stutter seemed to have left with the fever. Wednesday na ng makapasok kami. We went to our respective classrooms and handed over our medical certificate. Good thing Bea's step-mom has a stack of medical prescription pads back home.

Paupo na ko sa klase nang biglang may malaking boses na tumawag sa akin.

"Mr. Alfonso." it was Dario, he was looking at me from the hall, his big eyes full of concern. "Do you mind stepping out for a bit?"

Tumayo ako at lumabas para kausapin s'ya.

"Sir." bati ko sa kanya.

"You were absent for two days, ano'ng nangyari?" napatitig s'ya sa mga galos sa braso ko.

"Fever po." I told him.

"Eh, yang mga sugat mo..." he tried to touch me.

I flinched. I actually stepped back, raised my arms, and looked at him in terror. Pareho kaming nagulat sa 'king reaksyon.

"Sorry." we both said.

"Ano'ng nangyari sa 'yo?" Sir Dario asked again. I just shook my head. He stared at me some more before sighing and said, "Mamaya after ng exams, hintayin mo 'ko dito sa classroom n'yo ." he paused, looked at my reaction, did not find any. "Para sa remedial mo." he added. I nodded in reply.

Later that afternoon, I slipped out right after the last exam. I didn't think I could take it, being in the same room with another guy as big as that bastard Densio. Buti nga half day lang kami kaya 'di ako sinita ng guard.

"Kamusta exam?" tanong ni Bea as we went our way home.

"Wala." I answered flatly. "Wala akong maalala ni-isang bagay." I continued walking. "Pati pangalan ko, 'di ko maalala kung naisulat ko." Bea sighed.

"Well, put it this way, at least tuloy pa rin ang remedial classes mo with Sir Dario." Bea smiled. I stopped in my tracks.

Natigilan din si Bea at napatingin sa akin. "Something wrong?" she asked me.

"I... I-I don't think I want to have r-remedial c-classes with D-dario anymore..." I stuttered.

"Why not?" Bea asked darkly. "Did he do something to you?"

"N-no!" agad kong sinagot, "N-not him!"

"Then who?" Tanong muli ni Bea.

I opened my mouth. Still, no words would come out. I feel ng hands begin to shake again.

"It's okay," said Bea, "C'mon, we're going home."

She tried to teach me that night, pero walang pumapasok sa utak ko. In the end, we decided to leave it to fate..

"Okay lang, may semi at finals pa naman!" Bea said with her usual laugh. "And if worst comes to worst, sasamahan kita araw-araw pag nag-summer ka."

I finally smiled. "Thank you Bea." I told my best friend. "Hindi ko alam kung ano'ng mangyayari sa akin kung wala ka."

"Speaking of wala," singit n'ya, "Nakakapag taka naman na walang reaction ang nanay mo kahit six days ka nang wala sa bahay."

Bigla nanaman akong kinabahan. "S-she must be b-busy with w-work..." palusot ko. Tinitigan ako ni Bea at inabot ang phone n'ya.

"Bea, no!" pilit ko syang pinigilan.

"Don't worry, akong bahala." she insisted and dialed our home number.

"Hello?" said my mom's voice on the speaker phone.

"Hello, tita, si Bea po ito." masaya n'yang bati, "Pwede po'ng makausap si Jason?" my heart stopped beating.

"Oh, hello Bea, sandali ipapatawag ko."

We heard voices in the back ground. My mom and that guy. Densio. They talked for a while before my mom picked up the phone again.

"Hello, Bea?"

"Yes, tita?"

"It seems Jason is asleep already." sagot n'ya. I felt my blood drain from my face. "Laging late na nga umuwi yun eh, 'di na kami halos nagkikita." she said with a laugh. "Didn't he stay with you for a few days?"

"Yes, tita, he stayed here last week." Bea answered, her voice still calm. "I'll just see him nalang bukas in school. Okay. Bye!"